Why Italian Girls Are So Hot

The Roman Empire's Melting Pot

Roman Hotties

At its height, the Roman Empire was the epicenter of all world cultures. This meant people of all shapes, sizes and colors would pass through Italy, either by free will or as slaves. This isn't some "Da Vinci Code" level revelation. Everyone knows loads of people passed through Rome.

What IS a relatively obscure fact is that many of these mixed groups of people got it on. So much so, in fact, that racists on the internet will often attempt to cite race mixing as a downfall of the Roman Empire. That's fucking preposterous, of course, but that's the nature of racism I guess.

Even if modern day Italians won't admit it (especially the racist ones), the hotties there (much like in Brazil) are products of the best genes from so many groups. Which is the way it should be.

Italian Hottie 1

Immigration (AKA Buh Bye Fuglies)

During the late 1800s, poor Italians began flooding over to America for a better opportunity. The ones who stayed? They were doing juuust fine, apparently. And here's a fact I'm sad to admit is true -- rich people have the good genes. It's cosmically unfair, but the richer a guy is the more out of his league he can date. There are certainly some exceptions but compare a typical 20-something Italian chick in Italy:


Real Italian

with her New Jersey counterpart
Jersey Whore

That's why the old lady who works in the back of the local pizzeria doesn't look a lick like Sophia Loren (who I'd totally bang even now).


The REAL Italian Diet

Hottie eating pasta

The infamous "Freshman 15" (the 15 or more pounds chicks gain when they start college) is usually attributed to a diet high in stuff like dining hall food and, when grub is made in the dorm, pasta. And yes, a diet of pasta-filled face stuffings will lead to cottage cheese knees in no time.

But even though the REAL Italian diet contains pasta, those bitches know the key to staying fit and still eating what you want: SMALLER PORTIONS.

And in fact, the pasta portion of a traditional meal (the so called "primo piatto") is, according to the experts at About.com, the size of a CUP. Not a plate. Not a bowl. A fucking CUP.

That's also why you never see an Italian model looking on the skinny side... the Italian menu allows for these hotties to enjoy life and maintain their strokeable figures. So FUCK YOU, Chef Boyardee.

Half Naked Role Models

Monica Bellucci

We certainly do have hot chicks in the USA. C'mon. But more often than not you'll find a hottie who's less than concerned with taking off her clothes. All the American actresses, for example, aspire to be Julia Roberts. Julia was naked in exactly ZERO films (she even used a damned body double when she played a prostitute).

Now who's the Julia Roberts of Italy? Monica Bellucci. Ms. Bellucci has been naked in FAR TOO MANY movies to even fucking count. For those lucky few of you not at work, check out a clip of some her greatest exploits right here.

That's sort of behavior gives rise to insanely hot chicks doing stuff like this on national TV:



These Italian chicks are out of control. Enjoy some random pictures of their rich, mixed, well-toned and sexy goodness:



Random 1
Elena Santarelli 


Categories: Lists

Related Posts
O kevin bacon facebook jpg 36985adb thumbnail Lists
Top 5 Kevin Bacon Movies
Every james bond ever png 26606f1e thumbnail Lists
The Definitive Ranking of the James Bond Films
Emotiv 1 jpg dec7219b thumbnail Lists
3 Modern Gadgets Every Geeky Guy Should Own
Mini magick20151015 9904 8ll5bb jpg ed432f37 thumbnail Lists
The 3 Manliest Flavors of Ice Cream That Actually Exist
Mini magick20151015 9904 umt4xb jpg 3f009681 thumbnail Lists
Top 5 Spiciest Foods on the Planet: Are You Man Enough?