The Roman Empire's Melting Pot


At its height, the Roman Empire was the epicenter of all world cultures. This meant people of all shapes, sizes and colors would pass through Italy, either by free will or as slaves. This isn't some "Da Vinci Code" level revelation. Everyone knows loads of people passed through Rome.

What IS a relatively obscure fact is that many of these mixed groups of people got it on. So much so, in fact, that racists on the internet will often attempt to cite race mixing as a downfall of the Roman Empire. That's fucking preposterous, of course, but that's the nature of racism I guess.

Even if modern day Italians won't admit it (especially the racist ones), the hotties there (much like in Brazil) are products of the best genes from so many groups. Which is the way it should be.

Immigration (AKA Buh Bye Fuglies)

During the late 1800s, poor Italians began flooding over to America for a better opportunity. The ones who stayed? They were doing juuust fine, apparently. And here's a fact I'm sad to admit is true -- rich people have the good genes. It's cosmically unfair, but the richer a guy is the more out of his league he can date. There are certainly some exceptions but compare a typical 20-something Italian chick in Italy:

 

with her New Jersey counterpart

That's why the old lady who works in the back of the local pizzeria doesn't look a lick like Sophia Loren (who I'd totally bang even now).


The REAL Italian Diet

The infamous "Freshman 15" (the 15 or more pounds chicks gain when they start college) is usually attributed to a diet high in stuff like dining hall food and, when grub is made in the dorm, pasta. And yes, a diet of pasta-filled face stuffings will lead to cottage cheese knees in no time.

But even though the REAL Italian diet contains pasta, those bitches know the key to staying fit and still eating what you want: SMALLER PORTIONS.

And in fact, the pasta portion of a traditional meal (the so called "primo piatto") is, according to the experts at About.com, the size of a CUP. Not a plate. Not a bowl. A fucking CUP.

That's also why you never see an Italian model looking on the skinny side... the Italian menu allows for these hotties to enjoy life and maintain their strokeable figures. So FUCK YOU, Chef Boyardee.

Half Naked Role Models

We certainly do have hot chicks in the USA. C'mon. But more often than not you'll find a hottie who's less than concerned with taking off her clothes. All the American actresses, for example, aspire to be Julia Roberts. Julia was naked in exactly ZERO films (she even used a damned body double when she played a prostitute).

Now who's the Julia Roberts of Italy? Monica Bellucci. Ms. Bellucci has been naked in FAR TOO MANY movies to even fucking count. For those lucky few of you not at work, check out a clip of some her greatest exploits right here.

That's sort of behavior gives rise to insanely hot chicks doing stuff like this on national TV:

 

 

These Italian chicks are out of control. Enjoy some random pictures of their rich, mixed, well-toned and sexy goodness: