Hi-5: The Five Hottest Nerds

Merriam-Webster defines a “nerd” as “an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person, especially one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits.” The girls listed here are certainly fastidious about their intellectual pursuits and/or are socially inept, but they're anything but unattractive (a little leeway for the purposes of this list, please).  All these girls earn their nerd status because they either have played a nerd on screen or they are nerds in real life. Without further ado:

5) Gillian Anderson as Dana Scully in “The X-Files”

Pop quiz: What well-known TV character knows how to perform an autopsy, can easily recite incredibly detailed mythologies and has practice in shooting to kill?  If you guessed the hot doctor whose picture you're looking at right now, you must be some sort of monster genius. For almost a decade, Gillian Anderson’s Dana Scully showed us that being a nerd could also be incredibly sexy, and that sometimes even the shut-in, whacked out weirdo that believes in aliens can get an amazingly hot partner in crime. She’s only so far down the list because it’s been forever since we’ve seen Scully in anything, but with talks of a second X-Files movie brewing, who knows, it could happen again soon.  Cross your fingers, X-Philes.

4) Jenna Fischer as Pam on “The Office”

Pam doesn’t really have any rigorous academic pursuits (although she’s a really good receptionist and a great artist of office supplies). Her nerd cred comes from the fact that she dresses like your grandmother, she’s painfully shy and very easily embarrassed. Also, she’s into the goofy office pranks that appeal to the kid in all of us. What more could a guy want?  Well, how about this?

3) Sarah Chalke as Elliot Reid on “Scrubs”

She's a walking medical dictionary and keeps her patient histories at her fingertips. She has also been known to enjoy marathon sex sessions on days off from the hospital, and she has recurring fantasies about Mexican apple thieves. She’s Elliot Reid: the lovable, neurotic and smoking hot female doctor from NBC’s “Scrubs.” It's a complete mystery to me - not to mention a completely implausible plot development - that J.D. broke it off with her at the end of the third season. If she were my girlfriend, I’d sign up for daily physicals, if you know what I’m saying. (I’m talking about sexual intercourse.  Wink wink!)

2) Tina Fey as Liz Lemon on “30 Rock”

As the unhygienic, impolite anti-heroine Liz Lemon in NBC’s hilarious “30 Rock,” Tina Fey seems right at home with her character’s foibles. She loves Star Wars, hangs out with a bunch of nerds all day and writes lowbrow sketches for a comedy show. What’s great about Fey is that she carries herself - on the show and in real life - like she has no idea how incredibly hot she is. She dresses just like your average girl and doesn’t seem like the type that spends fifty minutes in the bathroom putting her face on every morning. This is ultimately why she’s what every guy dreams of: a beautiful woman that doesn’t think or act like one. 

1) Kari Byron as herself in “Mythbusters”

Kari Byron is at the top of this list because she doesn’t play a character (at least, not the way the others do); she’s actually a freaking genius in real life. According to her bio at the Discovery Channel website, she traveled the world as an artist and a sculptor, which eventually led her to a job at the prestigious M5 Industries. She has the smarts, the wisdom, and the experience to school anyone reading this, a prospect which I’m sure some guys actually pray for. It was at M5 Industries that she hooked up with the “Mythbusters,” where she and a team of intrepid scientists and engineers crack the myths that haunt us in our (day)dreams. Does a rolling stone really gather no moss? Does an airplane crash position really save lives? Can you really crack a safe using a stethoscope? 

Keep teaching us, Kari. Please?