02.13.09 From the Viking
The 5 Hottest Chicks from Fighting Games (page 1)
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Chun Li
Chun Li wasn’t even the hottest chick in the Street Fighter games, but man could she open her legs wide to kick. And you know what they say, “If she can kick, she can take dick.” That’s what I imagined someone saying during the high school Judo competition I went to. Also Chun Li is Asian, so she reinforces the stereotype that all Asian people can fight. Which is helpful because she can throw fireballs and shit which fucks with everything I’ve learned about physics (which is to say not much other than a couple episodes of Bill Nye the Science Guy), let’s not challenge too many perceptions at once, shall we?
Christie Monteiro
This chick was in a couple of the Tekken games and did Capoeira, the ancient Brazilian art of dancing around long enough until the person you’re fighting goes “What the fuck?” and you kick him in the face. She also sets some sort of record for underboob utilized in any sort of physical activity without ending up nude. Seriously, if you were dressed like that and doing jumping jacks you’d fall out of your top but some video game designer apparently thinks that it’s believable to have her doing cartwheels and getting kicked in her anus without any wardrobe malfunction. Dragons and princesses I can buy…a lack of proper breast support? Never.
Jade/Melina/Kitana
Mortal Kombat wasn’t particularly inventive in their creation of female models. See: The models for Jade, Melina, and Kitana (pictured above) who basically looked the same. They certainly lacked not for lust for the generic models though, as evidenced in the video below.
It basically just reasserts the longheld belief that there’s literally nothing unique about any woman ever. Other than the fact that the ending of one of the Mortal Kombat games revealed that Melina actually had teeth like this. Which probably wouldn’t stop you from fucking her, but I’d be slightly reluctant to let her blow me without a mouth guard or a whole lot of trust.
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