Rejoice! Scientists Prove Beer is Actually Good For You
January 02, 2013 - 7:33 am | PermalinkThe next time your friends, family, or sponsor try to get on your case about your beer drinking “problem,” you can tell them that you’re only drinking for the health benefits. Read more to find out what they are.
Just like Popeye and a can of spinach, beer can make you stronger. No, not stronger in the sense that you feel like you really might be able to beat up that guy on the other end of the bar who was kicked out of the UFC for being too violent. Beer has a lot of silicon in it (that's silicon, not silicone, which is what they put in boobies), and that's good for your bones. Chances are if you have one or two beers a day, you probably have an above-average bone density.
Beer is Good for Your Heart
A study conducted in 2011 by some Italian scientist guys—no, really, they're called the Fondazion di Ricerca e Cura—discovered that dudes who drank beer every day had a 31% reduction in the likelihood that they were going to have heart disease. You're not drinking because you're an alcoholic, you're drinking because you don't want to have a heart attack. Can you imagine the conversation that must be taking place inside your body every time you crack open a fresh Mickey's big mouth?
Heart: “Mmm, sweet, delicious beer. Keeping me nice and healthy.”
Liver: “Nooo, oh god, noooo!”
Heart: “Suck it, liver.”
Beer Gives You Immortality
Well, all right. That's a bit of a stretch. But beer does make you live longer. The USDA compiled over 50 studies that linked beer drinking to longevity. They think that because beer lowers one's risk to get heart disease, over 26,000 deaths are prevented every year.
That's right. Beer saves lives. Lots of them, actually—kind of like a doctor. Beer isn't just a drink that gives you the courage to talk to girls or convinces you it's a good idea to take a whiz on your best friend's couch, no. It's so much more than that. Beer is like a loving doctor. Wait, things just got a little weird.
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