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02.20.08 From the Viking

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Real Men Love Scud: The Disposable Assassin

Written by Anthony Burch

Real Men Love not just movies, or albums, or books, but comics as well. And if a man would have to choose but one comic to live with for the rest of his violence-loving, adrenaline-filled life, it would have to be Scud: The Disposable Assassin. It's the manliest comic ever written. Real Men Love it.

Ultraviolence
Scud is, at its core, an action comic. It takes place in a world where robotic assassins ("Scuds") come from vending machines. After destroying their targets, the Scuds self-destruct to erase all evidence of the murder.

Our particular Scud is hired to kill Jeff, a plug-headed female monster who has mouths on her elbows. About halfway through a gunfight with her, Scud sees a warning label on his back: "THIS UNIT WILL SELF-DESTRUCT UPON TERMINATION OF TARGET." Not wishing to die, Scud shoots off Jeff's arms and legs, puts her on life support, and has to take freelance assassination jobs to pay for her hospital bills.

This entire set-up basically serves as an excuse to throw Scud into ridiculously large gunfight after ridiculously large gunfight.

 

It's cool to be a robot 

 

Scud: The Disposable Assassin has an incredibly violent but light tone that I can only describe as "happy nihilism." Scud doesn't fight for any real cause or purpose other than self-preservation: his actions have no positive or negative moral connotation so much as they're just meant to be cool for the sake of being cool (at one point, a malfunctioning Scud makes himself a crown of barbed wire and shouts, "I'm Jesus with a laser gun...and you're all going to hell"). Bad guys exist to be killed, good guys exist to do the killing; it's not exactly Shakespeare, but it doesn't have to be -- it's just plain cool.

 

Cinematic illustration

Out of all the comics I've read, Scud is by far the most cinematic. Rather than composing its panels in a simplistic, Watchmen-esque way, or a "look how pretty my drawlings are" Brian Michael Bendis sort of style, reading an average issue of Scud really feels just like watching an action movie. It's difficult to explain using text (imagine that the panels are a slideshow, and the action in them is directed in such a way that you read the panels really fast and they meld together in your head to create a sort of continuous film reel), but Scud is one of the most entertaining, kinetic, totally visual comics I've ever read.

 

Pop culture heaven

 

If its happy nihilism didn't clue you in, Scud was made by a Gen Xer, for Gen Xers. It's chock full of more cultural references than a Tarantino and Kevin Smith movie combined. In fact, the main villain only speaks in pop culture soundbytes; every issue in which Jeff says something comes equipped with a glossary in the back, explaining where Jeff took the line from (throughout the course of the series, she shouts everything from "I SINISTAR, I HUNGER" to "Just like eatin' death on a cracker!").

The android gangsters are modelled after characters from Goodfellas, Voodoo Ben Franklin (another main villain) commands an army of undead zoo animals, and the trade paperbacks include suggested voice talent for each of the characters -- Scud is made by people who love hilarious violence and absurd pop culture as much as you do, and it shows.

 

It's finally back

 

Roughly a decade ago, Rob Schrab stopped writing Scud because (A) it wasn't making him any money, (B) he got dumped, and (C) it was kind of beginning to suck. Now that he's working as a successful Hollywood writer (he worked on Monster House and The Sarah Silverman Show), Schrab's finally returned to complete his first and best creation. Issue #21 came out earlier this month, with three more concluding chapters slated for the months to follow. Finally, after almost fifteen years, Scud draws to a close.

You should be there when it happens.

 

It's by the dude who made Robot Bastard and Heat Vision and Jack

If all that wonky text didn't sufficiently convince you as to the awesomeness of Rob Schrab and Scud, then I'd highly suggest you watch Robot Bastard and Heat Vision and Jack. Robot Bastard may be one of the best short films ever made, and Heat Vision would have unquestionably been the single greatest television show in the history of the medium had it been picked up. If you love these, go out and buy Scud for more of that sort of stuff. If you don't love these, fucking kill yourself.

You can check out Heat Vision and Jack above, but Robot Bastard is available here (why Schrab didn't put it on YouTube, I'll never know).

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There are 39 comments so far:
jibson
02/20/2008 09:04
real men only encounter paper when wiping their arses (or asses)
The Hitman
02/20/2008 09:05
OH MY FUCKING GOD. You just became one of my favorite writers on here. SCUD the Disposable Assassin is one of the greatest things to hit comicdom. I nearly had an orgasm when I found out that they were resurrecting it to complete the series...
The Hitman
02/20/2008 09:08
"Hippie Hiku, Brother Trucker!"
jibson
02/20/2008 09:09
i feel left out and regret never having read a single comic
kevin
02/20/2008 09:14
IS IT JUST ME OR DOES THIS THING REMIND NAYONE ELSE OR EARTH WORM JIM
The Hitman
02/20/2008 09:26
This show is fucking AWESOME!!!
Matty
02/20/2008 09:26
LOL @ Jibs.......i agree brother!!!!
Lukas
02/20/2008 09:27
it's a bit like earthworm jim in design... but very different in that it features dead people
The Hitman
02/20/2008 09:27
It is kind of like Earthworm Jim, actually...similar sense of humor. but much cooler because they can say whatever they want...EWJ had to be PG.
Matty
02/20/2008 09:27
I must have been living under a rock?!?

either that or out getting a piece of ass.
Bear
02/20/2008 09:28
Fuck yeah. So glad to hear of the return of Scud. Check out The Dead Alewives albums for more Rob Schrab goodness.
Mark
02/20/2008 09:32
This sounds really cool and all, but to be honest, real men love Deadpool, LOL
John
02/20/2008 09:33
always wanted to get into comics, but I'm too overwhelmed by them to get started
Mark
02/20/2008 09:34
and for the record, you DV writers made a flaw in putting Spawn v. Wolverine in a fight club, you SHOULD'VE saved it for Sabretooth v. Wolverine, and that my friends, is my egotastic nature shining through
John
02/20/2008 09:38
I just caught up on the last part of yesterday's posts and saw that killer is the eff today, so where is that emo eff bastard
John
02/20/2008 09:38
yes, emo emo fuck feet, double emo for that eff
Lukas
02/20/2008 09:38
i'm surprised you guys know about this. I'm from Milwaukee (where Schrab is from and where scud was published... as well as where the alewives are from) and I just thought this was a local thing. Erik and I used to go see the alewives perform every week. who the fuck knew
Lukas
02/20/2008 09:39
and yes, killer is a dirty wrist cutter
Mark
02/20/2008 09:44
hes in the dark getting a spork as deep into his flesh, pushing it to the limit
#1 Killer
02/20/2008 09:47
Guys, it's not very respectful of my human nature to try to bring me down over something silly...
#1 Killer
02/20/2008 09:48
And Lukas, I'm not a dirty wrist cutter...I cut in the shower...
Matty
02/20/2008 09:50
Killer....did you find your mesh "Morrisey" shirt?? Make sure to cover your nipple with band-aids!!

Ha!
Mark
02/20/2008 09:58
LOL @ Spicoli


Killer, you shower to wash away the filth of modern day pop culture, anything to be special
#1 Killer
02/20/2008 10:22
I shower to wash away the dirty words you mean-hearted assholes always say to me.
The Hitman
02/20/2008 10:44
Oh, we forgot about Numbah One's virginal ears...our language hurts him...
Mexico Joe
02/20/2008 10:49
@Mark, there's already a fight club between Wolvie and Sabretooth, SPOILER! one of em lost it's head, wanna guess who?
The Hitman
02/20/2008 10:50
@Joe...I was completely disappointed in that whole storyline though...could've been a helluvalot better IMO.
#1 Killer
02/20/2008 10:54
Don't you guys have anything better do than keep up with comic books? There are innovative new bands coming out everyday who discuss real issues like how girls only like bad guys and how the good guys always finish last...
Mexico Joe
02/20/2008 11:01
I agree, they've been milking wolverine's mysterious past and mind fuck forever now, they need to just give it a conclusion
The Hitman
02/20/2008 11:08
@ Killer, we do have better things to do than that, but we figured that if we discussed any of THOSE things, like getting laid, for example, it'd just make you slice and dice yourself even more...we were trying to be considerate of your feelings and keep you from bleeding yourself dry.

@ Joe: Right...in fact, they've gone back on everything they've established over the last like 30 years and said, no, that's bullshit, here's the real, REAL story...whatever man...and the supposed conclusion now has Wolvie as more human than he was before...coughbullshitcough...
#1 Killer
02/20/2008 11:33
I don't cut myself because you make me feel bad, I cut myself to make the bad go away...Don't act like you know me!
Whale
02/20/2008 11:49
I loved Scud, Deadpool rocks (it was the only comic that i ever subscribed to), if you guys like the old bond movies and these you should pick up DangerGirls (think JB with tons of T&A). Tick was awesome, as well as Savage Dragon.

Killer get back in your closet, no one said you could come out yet!
#1 Killer
02/20/2008 11:54
Being in touch with my feminine side does not make me gay, Whale. I don't see why you all are such closed-minded jerks...
The Hitman
02/20/2008 12:28
Danger Girl was cool, Tick rocked, Savage Dragon was good back in the day but fell off...and if you wanna read something really twisted, check out "The Boys"...bad ass comic...
The Hitman
02/20/2008 12:36
Killer's right...being in touch with his feminine side doesn't make him gay...

...the burly man taking him from behind does.
#1 Killer
02/20/2008 13:31
I don't like burly men...
#1 Killer
02/20/2008 13:31
I mean, I don't like men at all, asshole.
Insane Aussie
02/20/2008 14:05
ALL MONKEYSLUTS MUST BE ABSORBED!
Whale
02/20/2008 15:45
Ultraviolence FTW!

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