Real Men Love Commando

November 05, 2008 - 1:29 pm | Permalink

We've touched on this one in the 80's Action Films article, but the truth is, this movie is badass enough to deserve it's own entry because Real Men Love movies with big guns, explosions, knife fights and cheesy one liners…and let's face it, Commando has all of the above. For that reason, Real Men Love Commando.

The Plot:

Arnold Schwarzenegger is retired Colonel John Matrix (if that name isn’t badass enough, I don’t know what is), a special forces soldier who has left the service to live in seclusion with his daughter Jenny - played by a VERY (as in, keep it in your pants 'cuz it's illegal) young Alyssa Milano. Unbeknownst to Matrix, but beknownst to us, the members of Matrix’s former unit are being killed off one at a time by one of his former comrade-in-arms, Bennett. Ultimately, Matrix’s daughter is kidnapped to force him to commit a political assassination, and he only has a few hours to find her.

Of course, nobody really cares what the plot is. The point is, it’s Arnold in all of his badassity (yes, I made that word up, sue me), kicking ass and killing bad guys.

The One-Liners:

No 80's Arnold movie would be complete without one-liners...

Guns, Guns, Guns...

The following scene almost perfectly epitomizes the 80's action movie, and even moreso, an 80's action movie starring Arnold Schwarzenneger. Take one insanely ripped hero, add big guns with seemingly infinite ammunition, multiply by a nearly a hundred faceless soldiers, and then triple that by sheer awesomeness that the hero BARELY GETS HIT...and you've got a legendary action movie...

(Note the helpful counter someone added for the bodycount of this movie)

The Knife Fight

The movie culminates in a truly classic 80's one on one battle...I would cry spoiler, but first of all, if you haven't seen it, you don't deserve to consider yourself a man, and second...well, come on...this is classic and needs to be shared.


And Just Because We Love It...

That's right, the line so awesome it bears seeing again...

The Bottom Line

Insane body count. Classic one liners. Guns. Knives. 'Splosions. All the makings of a classic. Real Men Love Commando...and anyone who doesn't can "Let off some steam..."


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