Raising The Bar: Tail-Tending

 

THE ALLURE OF THE BAR TENDER

I know what you're thinking: "Why the hell would I take a gig as a bar tender just to pick up girls?" Because, when it comes to dating in a bar, nothing brings in the opposite sex like a bartender. James K., a 29-year-old bar tender living in New York, explains. "It's easy to engage [a bartender]. ...[with] bartenders, there's some safety." James' argument makes sense. If you're in a bar, one of the potentially skeeziest places on earth, the only person you can trust other than yourself and the people you came with is the bartender. Because the rest of these randoms in here, who the hell knows what their deal is... maybe they'll be your future spouse, maybe they'll be your future killer. But the bartender is there to do one thing, primarily: serve drinks.

I know from personal experience that the female bartender is often the most desirable person in a bar or club. She's usually dressed sexy without being slutty. She's usually had a drink or two but is never sloshed. And she's always giving me good things (like drinks, pretzels and conversation) rather than giving me grief, annoyance or, in the worst case scenario, an STD (which is what you might expect from a stranger).

So why shouldn't the opposite be true? Well, according to our pal, James, it IS true.

 

THE PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING. THE SEX PUDDING.

"It's wide open," says James about the pick-up opportunities for male bar tenders. While his tail-tending days are over (for both romantic and financial reasons), he's had plenty of experience in the past, as do every one of his bartending friends. "I know guys who sneak off with girls DURING service!" says James. How's that for a "cigarette" break?

Even on nights when he was focused on making money (AKA serving lots of drinks) and didn't have time to chat up the ladies during his shift, his position still paid off. "I could get a number any time," and take a girl to the after hours or have her come over for a booty call, explains James.

"If I was a single man looking for chicks, being a bartender is not a bad position to be in."

TIPS N' TRIX

If you're looking to meet (and bed) lots of new girls, you should definitely consider becoming a bartender in some capacity. If you already have a career and make decent cash but are hurting in the bedroom, it wouldn't hurt to pick a shift or two at a local watering hole (hopefully one where the females attend).

The best shift for girls is actually the worst shift for money, according to James. The day shift (3PM until 10PM) has the perfect pace for meeting great girls. Trust us... you're not gonna want to be picking up the last call loosies (I just made up that term... not bad, not bad). The day shift also puts a great exit strategy into your pick-up game; if you want to go out with a girl later, you can.

IF YOU DON'T TAKE THE PLUNGE

If you're not ready to man-up, go all out and become a bartender, James recommends at the very least becoming great friends with some. Since he's already spoken for, our man often sets up his buddies with fresh bar meat.

And if you ARE gonna end up tail-tending, make sure you can actually mix a few drinks. Cuz it only works if you don't come off as an utter fuck up.

Sidenote: Anyone want to go tail-tending? If you do, document it (either in written or video form) and we'll give you some shine!