Man Up Your Holiday Shopping

Don’t Plan Ahead 

Prevailing wisdom is to make a list of items to buy for specific people and then figure out which stores to go to based on this list.  Eight words for you:  throw all of your paper and pens away.  Don’t make a list.  Just go to the first store you can think of and browse around for a couple hours.  Yes, this may take a while compared to the streamlined efficiency of a good list, but it also keeps your mind open to possibilities that you hadn’t considered before.  Does your best friend need a stuffed Leprechaun that says “Kiss me, I’m Irish”?  He obviously does now that you’ve seen it at Barnes & Noble for only $6. 

Group Your Loved Ones 

Buying for groups is easier and cheaper than buying a gift for each individual on your (hopefully nonexistent) list.  There are some obvious pairings, such as Your Mom + Your Dad or Your Aunt + Your Uncle.  But have you considered giving a joint gift for Your Sister + Your Boss?  Your Grandmother + Your Barber?  Think of it as bringing people together.  In doing so, you’re also giving them the gift of love.  A twofer, if you will.  

Buy Online 

The internet has made myriad things better for a multitude of people.  Winter holiday shopping should be no different.  The advantages of sitting at home in your underpants and getting things done should not be underestimated.  The obvious disadvantage is that you’re not able to examine what you’re buying as meticulously as you would if you were holding it in a store.  The best of both worlds:  find things online and then hunt it down in real life to see if it’s worthwhile.  But then again, if you’re buying stuffed talking Leprechauns, quality control may not be your top priority.

Skip Wrapping, Tell People You’re “Going Green” 

Wrapping your gifts is A. An unnecessary expense, B. A waste of time, and C. Potentially bad for the environment. Though you can buy recyclable wrapping paper, wouldn’t it be even better just to ditch the practice altogether?  At best you’ll be respected for your eco-awareness.  At worst, you’ll have a little extra money in your pocket and get some eye-rolls from your family.  So what are your “green” alternatives?  Well, you could just leave things in the plastic bags you carried them home from the store in.  That way if your recipient wants to return the gift they’ll know where to go (just remember to take off the price tag and receipt).  Newspaper is a classic alternative.  It may make you look a bit cheap, but it still looks better than aluminum foil or an old turtleneck duct-taped shut at the ends. 

Be Magnanimous 

We all have friends and acquaintances for whom we’re not sure whether or not we should get a gift.  We’ll call them Borderliners.  The best thing you can do is get a small token for these Borderliners in spite of your doubts.  That way, your apparent generosity will always be either on-par with theirs or slightly ahead.  It’s like the Prisoner’s Dilemma, but without the implications of police beatings and hard jail time.   

And so, another holiday season can be enjoyed in a manly fashion and without too much anxiety. Unfortunately, after that it’s only a month and a half until Valentine’s Day.  We’ll cross that bridge when it gets a little closer, but for now, good luck out there in consumer-land.  Keep your well-defined chin up, buy whatever you want to buy people, and give it to them with confidence, like a man should.