Man Up Your Dorm Room

Mommy won't be around to hold your hand or look over your shoulder, so it's time to man up that dorm room and do what you really want. 

Tech It Out

Making friends is tough, but luckily any college guy can be easily swayed by a nice television, plenty of DVDs and video game consoles. Nothing smaller than 32-inches and high definition is an absolute MUST. I would also recommend at least one of the three next-generation consoles.   

If you lack sufficient funds for this, it's okay. Any college, especially during move in time, is littered with representatives all over campus that will give you a free t-shirt just for filling out a silly form. That form will grant you access to free money, or a credit card. Rack up the debt and worry about it later.

Loft It Out

Dorm rooms can be pretty damn small and the only way to gain more floor room is to utilize the height. Lofts will elevate your bed giving plenty of floor space for furniture and more importantly, tech goodies (see above).  

The standard loft looks like that of the top half of a bunk-bed, and everyone Joe on the floor will have one and think that they are the balls for having it. To really man up your dorm room, build one on your own. There are plenty of unique lofting methods that will impress all of the dudes (and be able to withstand your and a lightweight freshman's weight) with ease. Be sure to utilize every type of material you can.

Decorations

You're a dude, so hopefully you aren't jumping with joy over the prospect of picking out the right curtains. Just because of the penis in your pants doesn’t mean that your walls have to be bare.  

Posters are the easy route. Band posters are nice, but make sure you are actually a fan of the band and not just a poser who likes the ass pictures of the Pink Floyd album art. Classic movie posters are always acceptable -- Scarface, Animal House, etc. I would avoid the cliché college posters like "20 things I learned in college," because the people that buy those posters usually don't finish college, and that is just bittersweet.  

Blacklights in the 60's were what flags are today. Flags comes in all shapes, sizes and patterns. Look online and go nuts, although choose wisely -- if you're at Ohio State, avoid the Michigan flags. Jolly Roger flags are always acceptable.  

Oh, and Christmas lights are overplayed and make you look like a pansy when stringing them up -- unless, of course, they are chili Christmas lights.  Those are always okay.  

If all else fails, get creative! It's not about looking good, it's about being unique and nothing is more unique than covering the entire room in carpet.

Furniture

There are a couple important things to consider when shopping for a sitting apparatus for a dorm room: comfort, the number of individuals it can seat, its ability to be slept on and its price. It is unfortunate to see, year-in and year-out, Wal-Mart selling 400 million of their disposable $100 black futons. Those things hurt like a bitch.  

If you really want to deck out the dorm room, avoid actual furniture stores and hit the streets. Conveniently, dorm move-in time is at the same time when leases are expiring and upperclassmen are moving out of apartments, sometimes leaving perfectly good furniture sitting on the street because they're too lazy to move it. Go pick up one of those couches for free. 

If getting another random guy's couch is a bit much, take a look around for garage sales or estate sales. You can usually find a nice, cheap, vintage couch.  Just get a blacklight and verify that it's jizz-free.

Munchies

Got an empty mini-fridge waiting to be stocked? Load her up with all of the beer and Hot Pockets that can fit. Mini-fridges don't discriminate, and they certainly don't know what age you are, so go right ahead, but keep it discreet. An RA can be a son of a bitch and will likely be quick to show you his power trip on any illegalities you flaunt in his presence.  

And with that, you are ready to begin the best (and worst) 4+ years of your life. Starting off on the right foot with an impressive dorm room will pave the way for the rest of your life, so do it up and do it good.