Man Up Your Poo

Yes, it is disgusting.  If you're a dainty little lady librarian.  If not, you've been waiting forever to dive into the septic tank to Man Up Your Poo.

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Man Up Your STDs

The only thing more manly than sex is intense pain followed by death -- so why not combine the two? Okay, I take that back: there are a LOT of reasons not to get an STD, and we're definitely not saying you should start having unprotected sex with prostitutes just to seem cooler amongst your peers. Should you find that you accidentally are on the receiving end of a crab-infested night of moderate pleasure, why not make the most of it?

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Man Up Your Bathroom

There are many ways to have a manly bathroom, but implement these simple provisions and everyone will suddenly be sure that you have huge balls.  Skeptical?  Read on:  there'll be lasers.

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Man Up Your Woman

Or, How to Turn Your Woman into a Partly Concave Man

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Man Up Your Rainy Day

It's Saturday morning, 6:45 AM. You jump out of bed, ready for the full day of rock climbing and bare-fisted fishing ahead of you. But then, as you approach your window, you realize your plans have been derailed... thanks to the rain. Looks like it's gonna be a Saturday spent indoors. Well, just because it's wet outside doesn't mean you have to sit on yer ass and watch a "Golden Girls" marathon (although that sounds pretty good, actually). It's time to MAN UP your Rainy Day!

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Man Up Your Negotiations

"The 48 Laws of Power." Machiavelli's "The Prince." "Where's Waldo NOW?" All classic tomes in the library of negotiations. And if you follow these books, and others that I'm sure are as good but didn't show up in a google search query, you should be able to get all the basics of negotiation down. But with all that skill, you'll still be lacking MANLINESS. It's time to change that. Boo yah.

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Man Up Your Metrosexual Roommate

Being a ballsy, testosterone-filled man, it's pretty difficult to live with a guy who, based on his clothing style and mannerisms, would evidently prefer to have a vagina. Metrosexuals are kind of annoying in a general sense, yes, but how much worse is it when you're actually forced to live with them? 

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Man Up Your Final Exams

Final exams -- the most stressful time of the half-year. Your tuition, your self-respect, hell, your entire life rests on your passing each of the arbitrary, needlessly difficult tests your self-loathing professors have dreamed up for you. The only way to survive such an absurd time, of course, is to Man Up your final exams.

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Man Up Your Poker Game

The real reason to play poker is to embarrass and swindle your friends. Yes, your poker game is superior, and yes, they are too drunk to realize that you read a book on poker before inviting them over. They probably don't think you even know how to read, but you're reading this, and -- trust me -- reading is your secret weapon. By means of numerous hours and many drinks, it is your job to prove to the world that you are a badass, and what better time to do that than at a poker game?

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Man Up Your Holiday Shopping

Black Friday is behind us, but if you’re like a lot of men, you probably either stayed home or accidentally only bought items for yourself.  Whatever the case, you’ve got less than a month to find gifts cool enough to keep your friends and family but cheap enough to keep your apartment and health insurance.  If you’re going to go shopping, you may as well be a man about it.

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Man Up Your Thanksgiving

Though it rarely tops “Favorite Holiday” lists, Thanksgiving still has its fair share of perks aside from the obvious flaunting of American opulence.  Make the most of your only guaranteed Thursday holiday by manning it up.

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Man Up Your Work Day

Work sucks? Hate your job? Just because what you do for a living is lame doesn't mean you have to be miserable. If you just Man Up your work day, you're gonna be all set, buddy. You ready to have your Oxford shirt blown clean off? Let's go, bro.

 

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Man Up Your Transportation

As Thanksgiving and then the winter holidays approach, we’re reminded of one major truism: Transportation is a hassle.  Of course, things aren’t just bad on the holidays.  Think of traffic jams, over-crowded subway cars, riding your bike downtown during rush hour. And until teleportation becomes a reality, the best we can do is marginally improve our means of getting around by manning them up.

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Man Up Your Halloween

All too often, Halloween is looked down upon as a child’s holiday, and in many respects it is.  Dressing up in ridiculous costumes, eating copious amounts of candy, knocking on people’s doors and expecting rewards in exchange for no goods or services?  These are the activities of people who have no concept of the real world.  But there are ways to make your Halloween mid-week holiday a little more manly.

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Man Up Your Diet

Salad?  Are you kidding me?  What is this, strained-peas-for-baby time?  Since, for some reason, there are some men out there who still can't figure out how and what and when to eat, it's time for us to step in and teach you how to Man. That.  Uuuuup.

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Man Up Your Dance Steps: VIDEO EDITION

This week we've done something special for Man Up: we've filmed it! Yay!

 

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Man Up Your Internet Arguments

As mankind's steady pro/regression from an agrarian lifestyle to a consumerist lifestyle to a wholly virtual lifestyle occurs in time, mankind's battles tend to be fought in odder and odder arenas. Time was, we'd fight in the gladiatorial arenas, or we'd engage in man-to-man duels, or we'd have the good decency to visit someone at their house and strangle them to death. Today, however, many of our battles occur online. The question, then, is how one can easily win an argument whilst simultaneously asserting their manliness over an opponent? We have the answers.

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Man Up Your Effeminate Son

The best (and potentially only) good thing about having a son is teaching him how to be a man. You introduce him to sports, action films, red meat, and you give him realistic advice on women. Essentially, you put the little kid through Man School. But what if your son turns out a little more effeminate than most? Acts a little girly, talks like he grew up in Southern California? Well, my friends, then it’s time to Man Up your effeminate son.*   

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Man Up Your Home Movies

YouTube brings us two great things. One, all the bootleg entertainment clips we could ever want. And two, the sickest, most amazing amateur videos any of us have ever seen. And guess what? Thanks to these videos, your home movie collection is obsolete. Time to Man them Up, son!

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Man Up Your Tailgating

There are a few rituals that are quintessentially manly.  Bachelor parties, bar mitzvahs and tailgate parties are probably close to the top three.  But for the purposes of this piece, let’s focus on tailgating.  Not all tailgate parties are created equal, and there’s always room for improvement.  So without further ado, let’s man-up your tailgating.

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