Man Health: Man Musk

WHERE IT COMES FROM

That horrid, monstrous smell wafting from your dirty laundry pile actually came from two places: sweat and bacteria. Sweat alone doesn't really smell bad. It's "odorless," if you will. Unscented. Without...smell. It's bacteria living off of your overactive perspiration that causes the smell. Mmmm....

In an act of charity, I'll share with the readers my own struggles both with Man Musk and bacteria. I was having problems with my wonderful odor and some splotchy patches on my skin, so I went to the skin doctor (duh). And guess what the friendly bacteria who were living on my epidermis gave me? That's right, a yeast infection! Because I let the growth go on too long, I now had the pussiest of all diseases that exist on this planet. I had a vagina disease... on my skin.

HOW TO PREVENT THE SMELL

The number one cause of so-called man musk is dudes not showering and bathing enough. You really should hit the showers AT the gym... even on that walk back, nice little skin vermin will have enough time to have their way with your sweat. I mean, which would you rather go through... showering in front of other adult men... or having a yeast infection. I know, both prospects are pushing into new boundaries of fruity, but I think you're gonna want to avoid my mistake.

You could also reduce the amount of sweat you produce. If you're really smelling terrible, stop hitting the gym so hard. Again, it's lose lose for you, stinky. But c'mon, having a spare tire around your waist isn't nearly as bad as having your employer find out their insurance paid for your "Yeaast INfeccction" medication.

Switching up your diet (cut out smelly foods, including garlic) would also help you prevent the stench.

HOW TO GET RID OF THE SMELL

Once you start to smell like the inside of a gym sock, you're gonna want to do something to get your dignity (and chances of ever fucking again) back. If just following the tips above doesn't help, you might have to go for more drastic measures.

The first impulse, of course, is to up the dosage on your cologne. This only works if the kinds of girls you go for are the kinds of girls who like cologne (short skirts, blonde and might smell bad herself).

You could also wash BETTER. One spot that's oft neglected and therefore stanky as pie is the perineum (aka taint). That oh so elusive spot between your ass and your balls needs some extra TLC every now and then.  So why not get some Perineum Wash?! Several companies sell this stuff on the net and the funniest part is you can buy it in a gallon jug. Dude, how badly do your nutsicles stink?

HOW TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT AND STILL GET CHICKS

Here's a topic I know rather well... if you can't get rid of that stank, you've gotta learn how to live with the smell but still obtain some tail. You wanna know how to do it? Don't think about it. Don't sweat it while you're out on a date. Don't let it cross your mind when you're making out...and if she doesn't mention how badly your balls smell while she's deep throating them, well, for god's sake, don't bring it up.