As a cardiologist, I’m always asked about the benefits and drawbacks of eating bacon. Patients want to know what bacon’s relation is to health concerns, heart issues, weight gain and overall bodily harm. I’m always willing to offer my professional and time-tested opinions to these people, as it is my profession to make sure that all of my patients are healthy and in full control of their bodies.

Seriously. It's a perfectly natural biological occurrence, and it is, in some ways, quite enjoyable. Not in a sexual sense, necessarily, but in terms of relief, and (depending on size) sheer accomplishment.