Life Lessons to Be Learnt From Terry Pratchett

I’ve learnt...

... That only in my dreams can I be free. The rest of the time I need wages.

... I should never use five exclamation marks as it is a sure sign of an insane mind.

... That before you die your life passes before your eyes and that it is called living.

... If you build a man a fire, he will only be warm for one day.  You should rather set him on fire, and then he will be warm for the rest of his life.

... That everything starts somewhere and that it is only physicists that disagree.

... That taxation is only a sophisticated way of charging money with menaces.

... Today we may feel fine, but sooner or later we will all be somebody’s dog,

... That the intelligence of the creature named Crown is the square root of the sum of the people in it.

... That is never good walking with an open mind as someone will always try to put something in it.

… That Rincewind is guaranteed to solve any minor problem by turning it into a major disaster.

… That Death can have near-life experiences.

… That in ancient times cats were worshiped as gods, and that they seem to remember that and never allow you to forget it.

… That the only time it is worth doing something is when you do it that somebody, somewhere, would much rather you were not doing.

… That fantasy is really nothing but an exercise bicycle for the brain. It may not actually take you everywhere, but at least it exercises the muscles that will. Then again, he admitted he might be wrong.

… That the water of Ankh-Morpork has to be clean, In fact it is probably some of the purest water as it has already passed through countless other kidneys.

… That magic uses the energy unit Thaum. One Thaum is roughly the amount of power needed to create one tiny white dove and three normal sized doves.

… That gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.

… That something as artificial and human as an hour would not last 5 minutes here. It would be dried up and shrivelled in seconds.

… That it is very hard to determine the underlying logic of the universe, because there isn’t one.

… That bacon only comes as a surprise to pigs.

… That you should never build a dungeon YOU can’t get out of.

I hope all you diehard fans have fun in establishing which novels these are from. If you are not one of the diehard fans – yet – get yourself over to your nearest library and get all the novels you can find.  I promise you that you will be a fan within no time whatsoever.  In fact, you won’t be able to ever put them down again.