12.04.06 From the Viking
Let's Play...Sex...or...Video Game
I'm embarassed to admit it, but I saw that Uma Thurman/Meryl Streep movie, "Prime," where Uma dates her psychiatrist's 20-something son. The movie was lame, of course, but there was a pretty funny, telling moment: Uma tells one of her friends she's going to buy her boyfriend a Game Cube, and her friend replies, "Do you like to have sex? Then don't get him a Nintendo." Too true, right guys? Well, here's a fun game…would rather have sex with her or play the video game?
1) Sex With Jessica Alba…or…play World of Warcraft?
Alba…all the way.
2) Sex With Lindsay Lohan…or…play Super Mario Bros. 3?
Super Mario 3…It won’t give you herpes. A raccoon tail, maybe, but not herpes.
3) Sex With Lisa Kudrow…or…play Sonic The Hedgehog?
Sonic The Hedgehog…I’m not saying Kudrow is a beast. It’s just…it’s Sonic, you know?
P.S. She’s a beast.
4) Sex With CNN’s Paula Zahn, or…play Super Monkey Ball on Nintendo Wii?
Paula Zahn…I’ll take 50-something, marinated poon over that crap any day.
5) Sex With Jessica Simpson, or…play Metal Gear Solid?
Metal Gear…Solid Snake would never leave you for casual sex with Bam Margera.
6) Sex With a dirty prostitute…or…play Arkanoid on a TI-85 calculator?
Hmmm…I’d play a round of Arkanoid while getting a ten dollar hand job.
7) Sex With Bea Arthur…or…play Bible Buffet for the NES?
Since I can’t choose neither…fuck…I guess the Christian Nintendo game it is.
8) Sex With Ru Paul...or…play Ghostbusters on NES?
Ru Paul…all the way. Ghostbusters for NES fucking sucks.
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