Ken vs Ryu: The Ultimate Showdown

Both warriors are masters of the violent and deadly martial art, Ansatsuken, meaning "murderous fist," and are almost mirror images of one another in combat.  As a matter of fact, the original artwork for the two differed only by a head swap and color change - Capcom keeping things fresh.  When it comes to style though, the two are like night and day.

Ryu is the a true student of the art, devoting himself to the mastery of the technique.  A spiritual victory as simple as winning a round is even enough to send him into a deep state of reflection, his headband flowing in a breeze that instantly picks up wherever he is, without fail.  Ken Masters is simply a natural, easily and arrogantly picking things up as he goes.  His inclination to give a cheesy smile and flash the peace sign clearly states, "Not only am I a black belt, but I'm a rad dude, too."  Although he is highly talented and his moves are flashy, however, he still remains the rich American boy sent by daddy to learn "karate." 

Tale of the tape:

	Ryu	Ken
D.O.B.	7/21/64	2/14/65
Height	5'10"	5'10"
Weight	150	169
Chest	44	44
Waist	31	32
Hips	33	33

As evidenced above, Ken is the bigger combatant, outweighing his rival by nearly 20 pounds.  At this middle-super middle weight, it seems that when Ken lays the punishment on Ryu's face, it's going to feel like he got hit with a telephone pole.

A little backstory reveals that Ken has kicked Ryu's ass before, even going so far as to leave him with his red bandana - a sore reminder that he is, in fact, his daddy.  Additionally, it has been said that Ken fights in a totally unpredictable way, compared to Ryu's more conservative approach to the art.  This Roy Jones -esque attribute may very well make Ryu dizzy, as he tries to retaliate with textbook techniques - the martial arts equivalent of a boring college professor.

He's focused, though, and focus is key.  He's the true student of the art, and has insane ass-kicking power buried somewhere deep within him.  He can go into what I like to call psycho killer mode - the Satsui no Hadou - and basically tear people limb from limb, consumed in a demonic rage.

 

But for all his focus and all his passion, Ryu lacks one key element.  He's obviously a virgin, and let's face it, THAT is what really matters - who gets the most ass?

Ryu is a lone warrior, always wandering, diligently studying his craft.  Did you ever see Kwai Chang Caine bring some women home?  I don't think so.  Besides, Ryu is just an emo bitch, anyway.  This would do him well in some circles, but on the whole is an utter failing with the ladies.

Ken, on the other hand, is a chick magnet.  He is cocky and somewhat of an asshole - characteristics that the ladies can't seem to get enough of.  On top of that, he leads an affluent lifestyle, which is yet another bonus when it comes to bedding women.  He's basically like a frat boy.  Even without the beer, in his world, money = sex, although he'd never admit it.

There you have it, Ken is the winner of the Ultimate Showdown, simply because it really doesn't matter who fights better, it matters who F*CKS more.  Besides, Guile would kick BOTH their asses anyway. "Are you man enough to fight with me?"  Nope.  Neither is.