I HATE YOU: The Return Of Air Horn Guy

Hey guys. It's true. The Air Horn douchebag came back. Although this time he's not just sporting an air horn. He's got fireworks and confetti now. What the fuck?! Who is this roving lunatic? Why is he making it his life's work to slowly drive by people and terrorize them with noisemakers? And doesn't he know that utilizing confetti is very, VERY gay?

This time, the dude was in a white SUV, all alone, in a tuxedo and right after he blasted us with his air horn he ominously bellowed "Happy New Year" and threw some confetti at us. He then lit off some fireworks as he cruised away. Clearly, the dude's self-imposed hiatus served his air horn-game rather well. So many new flourishes, buddy. Good job. Your Air Horn career will take off any day now, broski. Just you wait.

The best/worst part of this dude's "covert strike" on New Year's is that I saw him twice... once on my way to the train, as I was heading into Manhattan for a party. And a second time on my way back to my house. That means one would assume this dude spent the better part of his New Year's Eve/New Year's morning driving around, fucking with people. For his sake, I hope broski had his radio tuned to Dick Clark or something.

And while Air Horn guy's return was annoying as all fuck, it definitely gave me some perspective. Anyone who spends their New Year's in a car, alone, with an air horn is a special breed of person. Even if this dude's horn will continue to scare the shizz out of me, I will, from now on, instantly pity the dude. And then laugh at him. Fuckin' loser.

Happy New Year, Air Horn Guy. Maybe you can get a new hobby in '08.