I HATE YOU: Drivers At The Intersection Of Mill & Brookfield

 I admittedly live on a somewhat dangerous street... Mill Road. It's not a highway but it's a major road in my town on Long Island and right where I live is towards the end of a long stretch of the street where there are no traffic lights. That means drivers are always trying to speed right past my house to make the light. Which also means accidents. Lots and lots of accidents.

My neighbor across the street, for instance, had a car crash down his entire fence. There are skid marks on people's lawns up and down the street as well. And two years ago, some girl who was trick-or-treating along Mill Road got what she asked for: a four-wheeled, 60 MPH, 2700 lb. treat piledrived her ass.

Since I'm not stupid and have common sense (at least when I'm sober) I know to never, ever cross Mill Road unless I'm at a crosswalk (seeing as I enjoy being able to use my legs for walking and what not). The closest crosswalk to my house is at the intersection of Mill & Brookfield. And, were it not for the douchetastic drivers on the roads near my house, this would be great.

But thanks to these soulless garlic-filled vaginas who are piloting their poop-mobiles without a care in the world, I'm almost devastated by a car EVERY DAY. Sometimes twice a day.

Guys, let's take a look at what the New York State driving handbook says about pedestrians and the right-of-way:

See that? Drivers must yield to pedestrians not only when they are legally using motherfucking crosswalks, but also in any street when entering from an alley, driveway or private road.

Well, fuck that 2nd part. All I care about is the yielding to peds at crosswalks part. Guys, see, I know you think the logical thing to do is to accelerate INTO pedestrians as you make an illegal turn... but according to the law, that's not what you should do!

Now, whenever I'm crossing this intersection by myself, I have to fucking wait for all the cars to zip past and then sprint across the intersection before the real danger (ie the cars revving their engines getting ready to blast across Mill Road) arrives. But my girlfriend... man, she's got balls of steel. Or, rather, a vag of steel. She makes a point of crossing every time, right away, first off. But if she sees a car turning onto the intersection slightly too fast, she stops. Right in the middle of the street. Sometimes she even flicks the drivers off.

Man, hot chicks can do whatever they want.

But regardless of my darling girlfriends triumphs, the fact remains--the drivers at the intersection of Mill & Brookfield are stone cold losers. And they should be ejected from our fine planet, post haste.

FUCK YOU!