The hard part about being a smart ass in New York is that everyone else is a frickin' smart ass too. So you're sitting on a park bench, making snide remarks about some dude's leather pants when you hear a pack of college girls snickering at you. I found myself in that very same situation recently. Argh

Normally, it's my fault. Whether it be taking the train at a bad hour, wandering into a particularly douchebaggy part of town or going out in the rain, the situations I end up in that cause the fires of hatred in my gut to crackle could have been avoided, ultimately. This is NOT the case with annoying people at concerts. If a band I like comes to town, I'm gonna see them. And at EVERY CONCERT EVER, there are insanely annoying people packed all around me. Sheeeeit...

We have a special treat for you, readers.  Today's "I HATE You" is brought to you from a loyal reader all the way across the Big Pond in Singapore.  Thanks for sending us your hate, Mr. Kuang.  It sustains us spiritually.

In New York City, there are two kinds of taxi cabs -- Yellow Cabs, AKA the real ones, and livery cabs, AKA the fake ones. Manhattan is filled with yellow cabs, which is good. But Brooklyn is filled with livery cabs, which is bad. Because bitches who drive the fake cabs need to catch a beat down. FAST.

It's beautiful outside here on the East Coast. Outside of the odd day or two, the weather has been in the 70s. Which means you people with spring and summer colds are extra disgusting. And I hate you.

I'm sure most people have a general distaste for Jehovah's Witnesses. They come to your door and leave literature... no one likes literature, so of course people hate them. Well I hate the collective Jehovah's Witnesses, sure... but in particular, I really effing hate the two bitches who've been knocking on my door for the last year and a half.

Some idiotic racist fools out there lock their doors when they see black people outside their doors. That's just stupid. Black people aren't going to rob you. The neighborhood meth addict will!

You know what brings out the hate in someone best? When you almost kill them! Thanks, drivers @ the intersection of Mill & Brookfield!

I'll keep this short and sweet cuz I'm in a good mood today and, as you all know, hate breeds more hate.

 

Maybe my hatred of kids already put them in the red zone, but I gotta tell you, this mother effin' couple really got on my nerves.

I haven't opened a can of "hate ass" in quite some time. But that doesn't mean I haven't been hating people. Au contraire!

If you guys have been reading the site for a while, you'll recall our editor Lukas Kaiser's problems with some guy in his neighborhood who pestered him and his girlfriend by driving by slowly and honking an air horn at them. Well, the air horn mofo had disappeared for a while. But on New Year's Eve... he returned.

And now another in my series of articles about mofos I hate...this time, I'm hating on the Ungrateful SOB who asked me for directions. Grrr!

If you haven't figured it out yet, I hate a lot of people. Some of you can appreciate that. Some of you can't. Those of you who can't--you're on my list. This week, though, I tackle a particularly disturbing a-hole: the Guy Driving By With An Air-horn.

Last week I told you about how much ire I hold in my heart for the fat woman on my train. This week, I hope to eviscerate the Middle Aged Bookstore Snob I ran into over the weekend. Let's begin.

Hey folks. Here's my new column...in which I decimate people who annoy me. This week? Why, it's the Fat Lady On The Train!