How to Pimp Your Apartment Or House On the CheapMarch 18, 2013 - 6:30 am |
Has your place been looking a little shabby lately? Wish you could spruce the place up a little so that girls won’t run outside screaming the moment they take the first look at your bathroom? Take a look at these easy tricks to pimp your pad.
Are you sick of getting crappy, beat up, second-hand furniture? Stop shopping at the thrift store for your furniture, and throw out that stained futon you call a couch. It's time to get smart and start buying some of that expensive, nice furniture. Except you aren't going to pay the full price.
Did you know that most furniture stores – the high end ones you never go into – have what's called factory defect furniture? This is basically really nice stuff, couches, chairs, tables, whatever, except that there's one or two tiny little errors – defects. Except that only the snarkiest furniture-snobs would ever notice most of these problems. Worst case scenario, you save a few hundred bucks on a decent couch and fix the problem yourself for nothing. This gives you the opportunity to buy really nice furniture at a dramatically reduced price. Don't worry, the girls won't notice.
So, you're dating a weird artist chick, and you know she's not going to dig on your Scarface poster, let alone that magazine pinup babe you have tacked above the toilet. This is one of the cases where you should go to a thrift store – these places are chock full of paintings. Panty dropping paintings. It doesn't matter that you don't know who any of the artists are. Just pick something you like and put it up, and if a girl asks you where you got it, tell her that you “like to support local artists,” followed by a coy wink. Later that night, she'll be saying hello to your little friend.
Clean the Bathroom
You don't even really have to buy anything for this one, other than maybe some industrial strength cleaner. If you want to impress your female guests, have a sparklingly clean bathroom at all times. It's not only more hygienic, but it implies that you have girls over regularly – her curiosity (and jealousy, sweet, sexy jealousy) will be immediately piqued if she goes into your john and doesn't see a ring of pubic hair in the tub. Want to really get into her head? Put a box of tampons in the medicine cabinet.