How to Be a Dude Bro Kind of Guy in 5 Simple StepsBy Damien on January 02, 2015 - 12:23 am |
Being a modern-day dudebro comes with its advantages: women adore bros, men envy them. Ever seen someone chug over 20 beers? Probably not, but if you did they were probably a dudebro, dude.
The first step to being a bro is intoxicating yourself every chance you get. Always bring beer, and make sure you drink most of it. Keep your beer pong cups full; half-way is for sissies and non-bros. Eventually, you’ll be able to handle your beer like a tank, and nothing says bro more than extreme alcohol tolerance.
Hit On Girls Every Chance You Get
...But don't forget to hang out with your other dudebros, because there's nothing gay about just getting naked together and flexing your pecs over a few beers, dude. Bro.
Mall, park, yoga class, birthday party: it does not matter how socially inappropriate you think it may be. Bros are hunters, and women are the prey. Always go for a home run, and don’t quit until you have your bro-dinner (get her in bed)! Remember, the more the merrier.
Buy A lot of Supplements
Working out isn’t enough. Get your brain tuned with the latest in bro-science; supplements help make you HUGE, and more importantly bigger than the other bros you’ll encounter in the club. Protein shakes should supplement breakfast, lunch, dinner, and every snack in between.
Bro Fashion Is a Must
Tight shirts, the latest skinny jeans, and those diamond earrings you wore back in high school will all help you on your way to brodom. Don’t forget to accessorize. Big watches, thick necklaces, and a cool headband will turn any outfit into a bro outfit.
Be the Bro
The most important step to being a bro is how you put it all together. Believe you’re a bro, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Own the bro image, and remember that everyone who doesn’t approve is just hating. The more haters you have, the more successful you are as a bro. Showing wealth and status will be your main priority as a bro. Buy the nicest car, home, and clothes that you can afford to finance. And always, ALWAYS Keep it cool.