Hi-5: The Five Hottest Chicks With Douchebags

Hotties and douches unfortunately go hand in hand a lot of the time -- why not pick out the hottest women who've had the lack of judgment to hang out with the douchiest douchebags?

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Hi-5: The Hottest Celebrity Smokers

Smoking is gross and uncool and expensive and dirty... until you actually light one up. THEN it's awesome and sexy. Five celebs pull off the "cancer stick"-look better than all others.

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Hi-5: The Hotties of the GI Joe Movie

With the GI Joe movie not-so-quickly approaching for 2009, why not get ready to find out which actresses you'll be ogling when the movie comes out? We endeavor to let you know which hotties will be in the flick, and which have only been rumored. And knowing is half the battle.

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Hi-5: The Five Hottest Female Authors

It's a simple task picking the five hottest hot chicks in bikinis.  You can't go wrong; they're all hot chicks.  But what if you take a really obscure category never known for the inclusion of attractive people?  Can you still find the elusive hotness?  Of course you can.  Sort of.

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Hi-5: Hot Weather Girls

Weathergirls? Weather girls? Weatherwomen? Either way, they stand in front of a green screen, look hot, and get paid ludicrous amounts of money. It's time to show them our respect.

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Hi-5: Five Hottest PETA Babes

Let's not split hairs: we eat meat.  We enjoy eating meat.  We will never stop eating meat.  But if we were to stop eating meat, we probably couldn't have a better reason than one of these ladies.

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Hi-5: Five Sexiest Beer Commercials

Ah, beer.  It's the perfect compliment to any meal and an even better start to a perfect night on the town, but with so many options out there, how do you pick the beer that best suits you?  Easy -- by looking at their commercials.  Since beer and babes go hand and hand, it makes sense to use half-naked women to try to sell a few bottles.  Let's take a look at 5 of the sexiest beer commercials of all time.

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Hi-5: Five Naturally Beautiful Celebs

Who needs makeup when you're naturally purdy? Natural beauties are infinitely more interesting than big-boobed chicks who might as well be porn stars, or anorexic supermodels. Their lives must be irritatingly easy -- they were, after all, born beautiful -- but goodness, these women are fun to look at even without makeup.

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Hi-5: The 5 Hottest A-Cups in Hollywood

Breasts aren't everything. As hard as that may be to grasp, it's the truth: sometimes a great bone structure, figure, or face can make up for love pillows the size of basketballs. With that in mind, we present the five hottest A-cups (give or take a cup) in Hollywood.

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Hi-5: The Five Hottest Female Soldiers on Film

Michael Clarke Duncan once famously said, "There's nothing finer than a fine naked woman holding a gun." And boy, was he right. For the most part, the women on this week's Hi-5 haven't been completely naked, but hell if we haven't thought of it -- these female soldiers can simultaneously kick ass and inspire boners at the drop of a hat.

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Hi-5: Five Hottest Oscar Winners

Once a year, there is an event that sets all the hearts in tinsel town aflutter. No, not the annual Tom Cruise gay-midget orgy, the Academy Awards. The Oscar ceremony is generally known for three things. Ridiculously priced formal wear, mind-numbingly boring acceptance speeches, and the loser’s faux-happiness for their competitor’s success. Thankfully, this gruesome display of lavish excess has one redeeming quality: hot Hollywood p*ssy.

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Hi-5: Charitable Women

Every guy wants a woman who's constantly ready to give it up.  In this case, of course, the "it" is time and money to various worthy -- or unworthy, depending on how Japanese you are in one case -- causes.  Here are the five women most likely to give you a helping hand when you're down and out.

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Hi-5: Actresses Who Could Be Athletes

Hollywood actresses, by and large, are prissy.  They don’t want to get dirty or sweaty, and they don’t want to exert themselves.  There are some actresses, though, that don’t mind a little strenuous activity.  These athletic actresses are all the sexier, because they have bodies that are more than just coat racks with tits.  They have bodies that look like they can go on a morning run and have enough energy for a morning quickie before heading off to work.  Here are five actresses who could have, in another life, been athletes instead.

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Hi-5: Forbidden Women

Call it exotic.  Call it taboo.  Or just call it what it is:  wrong.  Here are the five women you can never have... not that it's going to stop you, Pervis.

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Hi-5: Five Women You'd Fight Zangief For

Which Russian women would you be willing to go toe-to-toe with the master of chest hair for? Who, of all the women in the former USSR, would be worth a spinning piledrive or a massively painful bear hug? We've got five such women, but remember -- in Soviet Russia, beautiful supermodels masturbate to YOU!

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Hi-5: The Five Hottest G.I. Joe Babes

If you're an American guy born somewhere between the late seventies and the early nineties, chances are you had a G.I. Joe collection. While a debate about which G.I. Joe toy was the coolest/most bad-ass/easiest to shoot from a slingshot is a complicated discussion that is likely to spark much debate, there's one Joe-related discussion most of us can agree on--which of the (very few) female G.I. Joe characters were the hottest. Here is the definitive list of the five hottest.

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Hi-5: Five Hottest Zombie Movie Chicks

Whether they're killing zombies or getting killed by them, there's just something obscurely attractive about a pretty woman dealing with the undead. But maybe that's just us.

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Hi-5: Five Girls To Watch for in 2008

2007 was a good year for people who like hot chicks. The launch of hotties like "Transformers" star Megan Fox and the continued hotness of the likes of Jessica Biel and Alessandra Ambrosia kept happy in the aught seven. But it's a new year... and we'll need some new gals to look forward to ogling in the months to come.

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Hi-5: Five Women With Whom Your Girlfriend Would Have A Threesome

Note: We had our resident female writer, Sacha, prepare this article for you all. So you know it's legit. Women are fascinated by Paris Hilton, men are fascinated by Paris Hilton’s sex tape. But between Venus and Mars, there exist some very happy mediums.

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Hi-5: Five Hot Chicks In Santa Suits

It shouldn't make sense, it shouldn't be hot. But for some reason, when mega hot chicks get decked out in Santa Suits, it gets us all in the mood... for opening presents. SEX presents! 

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