Hi-5: The 5 Hottest Chicks From Totally Sexist Super Bowl Ads (page 1)January 30, 2009 - 11:00 am |
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Ali Landry for Doritos
Ali Landry was a nobody before this commercial. And she’s a nobody now. But man, what a commercial. I’ve never so desperately wanted to jerk off to a bag of chips before. Okay, that’s probably a lie, but let’s pretend I’m don’t have an Utz fetish.
You know what’s even more awesome in retrospect? That this commercial is so perfectly misogynistic. She’s basically doing dog tricks for chips/this guy’s cock. Which is a lot better than asking your dog to do tricks for your cock. And requires less peanut butter.
Kitana Baker and Tanya Ballinger for Miller Lite, 2002
Beer ads tend to not give a fuck about insulting women because chicks don’t drink beer. They pretty much exclusively drink white wine and pop out babies (which isn’t conducive to drinking unless you want to raise a waterhead). So why not have two chicks fighting for male amusement then start making out on TV’s grandest stage?
This commercial was such a meathead success that the girls ended up a part of WWE’s WrestleMania event in a “lingerie pillow fight”. And this was actually a year after their ad initially aired, long after the whores had outlived their usefulness. And when you’re classy enough to make an appearance for the barometers of taste known as wrestling fans…well…you should probably go to softcore porn like Kitana Baker did.
Candice Michelle for GoDaddy, 2005
Candice Michelle was another chick who basically was just a nude model before someone was like, “Wait a minute…breasts + mostly male audience…why this just might work!” While playing a character called “Nikki Cappelli”, the commercial mocked Janet Jackson’s 2004 “wardrobe malfunction” by having her boobs flop out during a Senate hearing.
What does this have to do with selling domain names and Web site hosting? Um…well, theoretically, it got a bunch of guys like “Who is this bitch” then Googling for nude shots of her and, after disgracing themselves and ruining several towels, made them wonder what they were doing with their lives. So then they probably made a Web site. And that Web site was DoubleViking.com.