Hi-5: Forbidden Women

Your Student

Let’s assume we’re talking over-eighteen-year-olds here. You’re a TA, she’s a fresh-faced, nubile co-ed who really needs that “A.” Win-win situation, it seems. But wait! Could losing your job, being dumped for the liberal arts sophomore who always go commando, and trying to cover your hard-on while proctoring exams possibly make this lady “forbidden”? 

You already went through school once. Do you really want to be eighteen again, but with less hair and more gut, all while worrying about your ‘nubile’ doing body shots with every frat boy in the house? And what color will your manhood when she brings home a souvenir? No, you don't want that.

It can be tempting to take advantage of that grade-grubbing hottie in the front row, but tricks are for kids. Hold out for someone who’s old enough to have a job, tolerance for you, and self-respect for herself, and you may be pleasantly surprised. You can’t keep up with a little girl anyway. Can you? (Ed. note:  Yes.)

Your Teacher

Some of you may still be trying to learn something instead of slaughtering oxen with the real men. And who’s a better classroom crush than the stoned chick in the corner with her fly down? The Hand of Authority (no, not that hand). Dominatrix deluxe. Stay-after-school whip me with your pants down Mama. Yes, any woman in charge is enough to spark the interest, provided she's in reasonable shape. And women, like fine wine, grow better with age -- unless the wine is over thirty-five, of course. The point is, this lady has something to teach you and it could turn into an oral report. In this case, there is an element of danger involved, namely being rejected, dumped, and having that class turn into a nightmare, but you will be the class hero. Be sure to take notes. 

Your Doctor

The apparatus alone that this woman has access to are enough to make your head spin. That’s not counting the painkilling phenomenon of a woman in a lab coat and nothing else. More than even your teacher, she has authority in that she might actually hold your life in her hands. Or your feet, depending on what kind of doctor she is. Start simple and work your way up to a surgeon when your life is really in need of some spicing up. Just remember not to go under anesthesia angry. Also, those hospital beds are mighty tempting, to say nothing of the gurneys and wheelchairs.  

Bonus: doctors are very busy, so you won’t have time for foreplay.

Your Nun

Whatever religious lady is off-limits to you may be inserted here, but any faith’s man can be attracted to a nun. They’re modest, hard to get, and spend a lot of time on their knees. You won’t have to buy them a ring, since they’re married already, and they might not be allowed to see movies, go to nightclubs, or anything else that costs money. Just don’t ask her if she has a cute younger Sister. 

Your Brother's/Best Friend's Fiancée

This is the kicker, especially because it’s more likely to happen than you want to admit. Some time in your life, unless your best friend dates ugly psychos, (and probably even then), you will be attracted to your brother or best friend’s girl. Stifling the urge is noble; succumbing to it is just plain dirty. You spend a lot of time together, she complains to you whenever he pisses her off, you might even end up comforting her in order to help your buddy. Even if you’re the guy who hates all his friends’ girlfriends, the sexual tension in your hateful glares is probably undeniable.  

If you shag her, you might hate yourself, and your friend may or may not forgive you -- with the odds of that plummeting if it happens to be anywhere near (or even after) wedding night. There are probably better ways to get a cheap thrill than making all three of you miserable, but, then again, it depends how good she is in the sack.