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03.14.08 From the Viking


> Hi-5: Five Naturally Beautiful Celebs

Written by Anthony Burch

Who needs makeup when you're naturally purdy? Natural beauties are infinitely more interesting than big-boobed chicks who might as well be porn stars, or anorexic supermodels. Their lives must be irritatingly easy – they were, after all, born beautiful – but goodness, these women are fun to look at even without makeup.

Audrey Tautou

 

I think I've said this about her before, but Audrey Tautou is cute enough to build an entire movie around. The French flick Amelie (if you haven't seen it, do so if only for the indie chick tail it might one day get you) is basically about a young woman (Tautou) who goes around improving peoples' lives and teaching the audience that the world is a cute, fun, wonderful place to live. 

None of that movie -- not a single moment -- would have worked if Audrey Tautou wasn't irresistibly adorable in every friggin' way. If you haven't seen the movie, it won't do me any good to describe the myriad of ways Tautou manages to constantly out-cute herself scene after scene ("I skip stones" is probably one of the most adorable sentences ever spoken by anyone). Just see the movie, and understand.

 

Milla Jovovich

 

Bear with me here -- I know she looks like the most ridiculously airbrushed supermodel you've ever seen in the above photo...but remember The Fifth Element? Remember how bruised, and soot-covered, and occasionally makeup-less she was in that? And yet, we all still wanted to bang her?

I rest my case. 

 

Natalie Imbruglia

 

It's a shame Natalie Imbruglia hasn't had more of a career since her hit single "Torn" (and no, visually representing the lyrics with the comedian who originally parodied her doesn't count). She was attractive enough to get a spot on a crappy Australian soap opera, Neighbors, then jump immediately into a world-famous music career, the high point of which consisted of a song that causes involuntary erections in anyone who hears Imbruglia sing the lyric "lying naked on the floor." 

Depending on how one looks at her, Imbruglia is either cute and meek, or two steps away from being a sex-craving goth chick. We all want to make out with her for different reasons, but it doesn't take eight pounds of makeup or a pushup to get us there. 

 

Rose Byrne

 

That picture shows Rose Byrne at her least attractive.

Her least.

That's a publicity photo from Sunshine, where the Australian-born Byrne plays a character who, despite being endlessly compassionate, might as well be a dude. She doesn't play up her sexuality, never makes out with Cillian Murphy, and generally does whatever necessary to keep the audience from getting distracted at her painful, natural good looks. It doesn't really work -- if you put the Scarecrow and Rose Byrne on screen together, it's not hard to imagine who the audience is going to want to look at -- but the point is that Byrne looks effortlessly great even when she isn't supposed to.

She can also fake a really good American accent and that's super hot for some reason and god dammit I need to move to Australia. 

 

Mary Elizabeth Winstead

 

Huge eyes, big cheeks, round face. Mary Elizabeth Winstead is the very textbook definition of natural adorable-ness. Or would be, if "adorable-ness" was a word.

Though we haven't seen much of her in the last six months outside of the Death Proof DVD, it's hard to forget how balls-out, effortlessly cute Winstead is in damn near every (probably subpar) movie she's ever been in. In the span of just a year or two, Winstead has supplied filmgoers of America with visualizations of more repressed sexual urges than any other actress onscreen today (with the possible exception of Ellen Page and the pedophile/pregnancy fetish subculture). 

She was a cute cheerleader, a cute horror heroine, and a cute daughter of John Motherfucking McClane. As was the case with Imbruglia, you can dress Winstead up any way you want -- but at the end of the day, she'll still be one hell of a natural beauty.

 

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There are 29 comments so far:
John
03/14/2008 09:06
lol@involuntary erections
joe
03/14/2008 09:10
i say Imbruglia is hot as shit...
Insert
03/14/2008 09:15
nice I would of like full body shots. Just scares me like a my space photo. Face is fine and body is dressing out 250 LBs
spoonz
03/14/2008 09:33
natalie imbruglia actually had a 'career' outside of the states, out in england she had some popularity and a bit down under after 'torn'.. (why do i know this?)

and 2 australians, prolly could make a list full of em, they have some rediculously hot girls w/o the need of makeup... go ahead, google image some, youll like...

i expect a hi-5 surfers soon
John
03/14/2008 09:38
mmm..sufer chicks
John
03/14/2008 09:38
er, surfer
The Hitman
03/14/2008 09:38
lmao@insert...mercifully, though, we know that none of these women round out at more than a buck thirty...lol
Mark
03/14/2008 09:39
LOL @ Spoonz avy......he tried to sell me opium @ a phish show I think
Lukas
03/14/2008 09:55
chris, hope u saw my attempt to clear my name in the forum. i would never shit on you for no good reason. now give me a reason, and it's diarrhea time baby
Moncho
03/14/2008 10:00
Dude, totally agreed on Winstead. The girl is just fantastic. The others are nice picks too, if i knew that Rose chick or didnt forget about Imbruglia after watching Jonny English.
Lukas
03/14/2008 10:12
winstead is sooo fucking cute
Moncho
03/14/2008 10:16
soooo fucking cute
spoonz
03/14/2008 10:19
id spitzer her
Matty
03/14/2008 10:20
sofa king cute
Matty
03/14/2008 10:21
I tried selling Mark opium, but he had no money so................ ho you want a hit you got to get your knees dirty!
#1 Killer
03/14/2008 10:35
LOL @ Matty
Lukas
03/14/2008 10:40
killer did u see that we have the same birthday? great
david
03/14/2008 10:53
damn it! where the hell is Rachel Bilson?! not only should be on this list, she would have owned it.
jibson
03/14/2008 11:16
jibson demands natalie portman
Jamar
03/14/2008 11:24
death proof was hardcore
The Hitman
03/14/2008 11:51
death proof fucking rocked man...loved that shit...and of course, Rosario Dawson's mmm mmm goood...
Bear
03/14/2008 11:57
Natalie Imbrugligaraiapoop or whatever her name is... she's looking pretty harsh lately, and her music sucks hot balls too.
James
03/14/2008 12:17
I've never really found Natalie Imbruglia attractive. She has big eyes, but they're completely dead and devoid of emotion.
Joe
03/14/2008 12:55
I think Rosario Dawson looks fug as hell, she looks like a fucking monster man, baggy eyes, and those teeth! wtf?! and yes, all of these chicks are cute as hell, you guys should do a cute girls from the past, I recommend Jane Fonda in her barbarella days, HOT!
Matty
03/14/2008 13:11
Yeh Joe get old school on em', how about Martha Washington while youre at it!! =)
Joe
03/14/2008 13:45
Martha Washington was a hip, hip lady
Oscar
03/14/2008 14:30
This is propaganda supporting Womyn's issues!
Matty
03/14/2008 14:46
LOL @ Joe!!
Moncho
03/14/2008 17:18
I like Bilson, but there is no way in hell she would have beaten Winstead. Girl is just like genitically engeneered to be adorable.

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