Hi-5: Five Hottest Women Harrison Ford Nailed in the Movies

Wendy Crewson

Crewson sort of resembles Sela Ward mixed with Jeanne Tripplehorn, only without Sela Ward's insanely deep voice and Jeanne Tripplehorn's career-ending turn in Waterworld.

You may remember her as the First Lady from Air Force One...but then again, you may not. Mrs. Crewson spent at least 90% of Air Force One's running time cradling President Harry's daughter in her arms, crying and looking frightened as Gary Oldman marched up and down the cabin acting like a badass. She didn't have anything interesting to do in the movie, but she was most definitely Harrison Ford's movie-wife, they most definitely had sex to produce a daughter, and thus that makes the first lady a certified MILF. 

Harrison Ford hit that.

Kate Capshaw

Look, everybody: it's Willie Scott, the famous American female vocalist! Watch as she complains about elephants being smelly, the jungle being damp, and Easterners being savages! Tremble with fear as she almost gets her heart torn from her chest by an evil voodoo priest! Get a boner as she plays hard-to-get with Indiana Jones!

Perhaps the most wonderfully cliched character in all the Indy films, Willie Scott (Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom) was the nagging, arrogant, but still hot bombshell to counter Indiana Jones' gruff, arrogant, but still badass personality. Willie Scott may have set women's rights back a few years or so, but her alternate nagging and flirtatiousness made her pretty damn hot, in an "I'd have really angry sex with her" sort of way.

In real life, Kate Capshaw is allegedly an intelligent, progressive woman (in other words, nothing like Willie Scott), in addition to being married to Steven Spielberg. But hey, why not share within the family? Steven Spielberg gets her in real life, Harrison Ford gets her in the movies. Win-win. 

Carrie Fisher

Ah, Princess Leia. Is there a single boy who has ever been born who did not at one point fantasize about the Jabba's Palace outfit? Is there not a single person alive who does not wait with bated breath to hear the words "I love you," if only so they can respond with "I know"? 

Probably not.

Either way, Carrie Fisher was really damned hot, back before she turned into a script doctor who gets remarkably angry at the mention of Star Wars and yelled at Jon Favreau for using dirty language during dinner. 

While the majority of Leia and Han's relationship basically revolved around the two of them bickering and avoiding one another before finally confessing their love and then arguing a few more times, you best believe that, within, say, thirty seconds of the final shot of Return of the Jedi, Han Solo hit that shit for a week straight. They've got the perfect relationship, truly: she stopped being an uppity bitch while he still gets to be the roguish, cocky hero. We should all be so lucky.

Michelle Pfeiffer

Michelle Pfeiffer's high placement on this list will make much more sense to those readers who have not yet seen Stardust. Those who have will probably assume that I have some sort of plastic surgery fetish. 

In What Lies Beneath, perhaps the only film in which Harrison Ford actually played a villain, Harrison plays a character who cheats on Michelle Pfeiffer, then kills the mistress to keep the affair secret. I'm going to say that again: Harrison Ford cheats on Michelle Pfeiffer.

The prospect of anyone cheating on Michelle Pfeiffer would be nothing short of ludicrous a few years ago, and yet Harrison Ford pulls it off: he's the one actor who is badass enough and roguish enough to play a guy who can wake up, look at motherfucking Catwoman sleeping in bed next to him, and think, "Eh, I can do better." And nobody doubts it for a minute.

Alison Doody

Yeah, I know. "Doody." Ha ha.

Elsa Schneider is, without a doubt, the most interesting female character in the Indy series. Marion Ravenwood was kind of fun (and some reviews I've read suggest she's pretty good in Crystal Skull), but Elsa is the ultimate femme fatale whom you simultaneously want to kill, and have copious amounts of sex with.

Initially, Elsa seems like the hottest Indy Girl we've seen yet: she's young, intelligent, and blonde. Usually, Indy at least tries to be subtle in his flirting, or at least play hard to get, but within thirty seconds of seeing Elsa he compliments her eyes and steals a flower for her. Indy want so hit that bad, and, as the audience, we do too.

That is, until Elsa tricks Indy into giving up the grail diary and reveals herself to be a Nazi. Harrison and the audience are angry. We're betrayed. We were cockteased. And yet, by the end of the film, we still want Elsa to live; even though she's a Nazi bitch, her sheer hotness alone makes her somewhat endearing to us. When she plummets to her death after attempting to grab the grail, we feel a little bit bad -- partially because she helped kill Donovan, but mainly because she was really, really hot.