Hi-5: Actresses Who Could Be Athletes
By Archduke F.F. on February 08, 2008 - 9:00 am | PermalinkHollywood actresses, by and large, are prissy. They don’t want to get dirty or sweaty, and they don’t want to exert themselves. There are some actresses, though, that don’t mind a little strenuous activity. These athletic actresses are all the sexier, because they have bodies that are more than just coat racks with tits. They have bodies that look like they can go on a morning run and have enough energy for a morning quickie before heading off to work. Here are five actresses who could have, in another life, been athletes instead.
Jessica Alba
Sport: Tennis
Alba’s an athletic-looking actress. Whether it’s kicking ass on Dark Angel or working the pole in Sin City, she has the lithe body of a sportswoman. She’s got strong arms and nice legs, and I can’t imagine anyone looking better in tennis whites than her. According to imdb, her father was a pro-circuit tennis player, which means it’s highly likely that she’d beat your fat ass on the court.
Jessica Biel
Sport: Soccer
Where one Jessica goes, the other follows. While Jessica Alba has a body that looks like it’d do better in a burst of energy sport like tennis, Jessica Biel has more of an endurance-type frame. She’s got a little more meat on her bones—not too much, mind you, but a little—which would help her run up and down the pitch for however long a soccer match is. I assume it’s something like six hours.
Keira Knightley
Sport: Golf
Yes, Keira played soccer in Bend it Like Beckham, but it just didn’t look right. She’s a stick of a woman, and we all know the Indian chick was the real soccer player anyway. No, Keira looks much more like a golfer. She’s thin and flexible, and as an actress she’s very focused, all things which are important to being a good golfer. And her mom’s Scottish, which has to count for something.
Milla Jovovich
Sport: Field Hockey
Whether she’s starring in a movie that Real Men definitely love or making video game movies, Milla always looks like she could kick your ass. She’s demonstrated on film that she’s quick, agile, and unafraid of getting dirty. Field hockey, then, is the most obvious choice for a woman who wouldn’t hesitate to crack someone across the shins with a wooden stick.
Megan Fox
Sport: Water Polo
Megan Fox has a swimmer’s body, which gets her halfway to becoming a water polo player. The other half, of course, requires her to wear a goofy-looking helmet while hucking a ball at an opposing team’s net and throwing elbows like Karl Malone. Now, I don’t know anything about Megan’s personal life, but I’m going to assume that she is crazy. I base this assumption on the fact that she’s the next big thing, but is currently engaged to Brian Austin Green, former rapper and star of 90210. This craziness would translate well into a sport where it’s assumed that people are going to end up (in)advertently getting shoved underwater or kicked in the face.
