From the DV Vault: "Manly Drinking Games"By Frank Movsesian on October 10, 2008 - 11:30 am |
Some of these drinking games you may know, some you may not. What they all have in common, though, is the ability to ruin your mind and the ability to cause a forest to grow on your chest. I'm not talking about hair, either. This is going to be an actual forest.
Drunk, Drunk, Booze
There's nothing like taking a child's game and turning it into a man's game. Just like "Duck, Duck, Goose" except when the person is being chased, everyone sitting in the circle chugs. If the chaser catches the chasee, the chasee has to chug a beer. If the chasee makes it back to the chaser's spot, then the chaser has to chug a beer.
How to win: Wear shorts, a tank, and your running shoes. Sandals will absolutely fuck you up. Convince one of your buds to start slicks behind him/her by pouring some of their beer on the ground.
Here's what each player needs - duct tape and two 40's of beer. You tape one 40 to each hand and you're not allowed to take them off until both of the 40's are finished.
So, if you feel the need to go to the bathroom, you either chug the beers or wet yourself. You can't answer your cell phone, grab the ass of the hottie who's grinding on you or anything that requires you to remove a beer from either hand. This is a great game when trying to finish off all the beer in your house. For those who don't know both 40's are roughly equivalent to 6.5 regular beers.
How to win: You can start off by wearing adult diapers. You now need to make sure that you insert a napkin or two in each palm to help fight the cold generating from each 40. Finally, you're going to want to finish one of the 40s before you finish the other. This isn't Germany and you aren't German, so warm beer sucks while playing this game.
Disarm The Bomb
First, you need to tape four beers together, forming a cube. Then, you find yourself Mr. Bomb Squad. You tape his hand to the bomb of four beers, and give them three minutes to diffuse the bomb. Once the person's lips touch the beer, they cannot come until they've finished a beer within the cube. If the person cannot diffuse the bomb, either by not drinking fast enough or puking, all those watching must dump the remains or their beer on the person's head. BOOM!
How to win: Practice. Lots of practice. I'm talking eight days a week, 26 hours a day type of practice. The kind of commitment that adds an extra day to any calendar week and two extra hours to any calendar day. Crazy practice.
69 Girls in a Year
The game starts at midnight December the 31st and continues until midnight January the 1st. Each player must try and kiss* 69 or more girls in this time span. One of the other players must witness each player's kissing achievements.
When January 1st of the next year rolls around, each player's totals are looked at. Any player who failed to meet 69 girls must drink the difference in beers. And they must do so in 69 hours. Now, if both players go over 69, then the player with the lowest score must drink the number of beers the winner went over. So if the winner scored with 79 girls, then the loser must drink 10 beers in 69 hours.
How to win: Since roofies are expensive and illegal, you'll need an adequate substitute. Find the biggest NYE party at the largest hotel in your local downtown. Start from garage to the top floor, and kiss every chickie you come across. Even the maids. Another tactic we've seen , but DO NOT recommend, is cutting out the competition. You can do this by simply punching the lights out of every girl your buddy is going to kiss. Again, we DO NOT recommend this.
*You can switch this for sex if STDs disintegrate at your mere presence.
The ultimate of all ultimate drinking games. The kind that will get you in a ton of fucking trouble, but who gives a shit, right? First, a Viking is picked. Then, that person must take his shirt off, put a Viking helmet on, find a beautiful young lady, and throw her over his shoulder without telling her what he is doing. The Viking then must yell "RAPE AND PILLAGE" and chug one beer. If the girl falls or gets off before the entire beer is finished, the guy must chug from a full Viking helmet. It's the only way to prove his worthiness of being proclaimed a Viking.
How to win: Vikings do not give hints. Vikings do not help others. If your ballsack isn't big enough to be seen from space then you don't deserve to be called a Viking, anyway.