Flying Solo: A Guide to Hitting Bars & Clubs Alone

Are you the kind of guy who'll just stay home on a Friday night if his pals aren't going out too? Instead of spending the evening watching your DVD copy of Anal Massacre VII again, read this guide and learn how to fly solo to your favorite nightlife venues.

Going to a bar or a club alone doesn't have to be a huge ordeal, despite what most guys think. For some reason, we tend to associate our friends with the idea of “going out,” and if nobody you know is leaving their house, well, you'll just stay home too. But why is that? It's not like we can't go other places by ourselves. Imagine if you had to call one of your buddies up in order to go grocery shopping. “Hey bro. Yeah, gotta go get another box of Cocoa Puffs. I'll pick you up in a half an hour.”

The irony of it is that bars and clubs are, by definition, social avenues. You don't hear people saying, “Yeah, me and all my friends are going out to the club tonight. I hope we don't meet anyone new or interesting.” It's all well and good to go out specifically to hang out with your friends, but if you consistently go to social gatherings such as those found in bars and never talk to anyone you've never met before, you're doing it wrong. And it's pretty likely you aren't going to get laid that way either.

It might be hard to believe if you've never gone out to one of these places without your friends, but you can actually have a lot more fun going out by yourself. The first few times you hit the town solo, chances are you're going to feel a little nervous. Maybe a little naked without the comforting security of idiotic banter with the people you've known since grade school. That's fine. But eventually, and maybe even your first time out solo, you'll feel something different: pure freedom.

There's nothing like the sense of possibility and adventure you gain when you know you're the one in control of the evening. Don't like the bar you're at? Go to another one. You don't have to round up your friends and discuss it for 45 minutes. You can just go. You don't have to worry about whether or not Jimmy is going to hit you up again to pay for his drinks (he will). You don't have to leave before you're ready to leave because your ride has to get up early. It's time to leave the security blanket woven entirely of other dudes at home for a change and see what the world has to offer for a roaming lone wolf.

I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But you're going to come up with some excuses though, aren't you? Let's go ahead and get those out of the way.

“B-but I won't have anyone to talk to!” you might be thinking. As mentioned above, talking to people is kind of the point of going out. You'd be surprised at how generally receptive people are to conversation, if you gave it a shot. If you're not quite to the point where you're ready to go up and approach girls alone (although you should), finding a mixed group of people and joining their conversation doesn't have to be weird. Something as simple as, “Hey, mind if I have a drink/smoke with you guys?” is perfectly acceptable.

Hanging out in mixed company at the beginning of the night might serve as a good “warmup.” Not only does it help to get you into a social mood, but you'll probably knock back a few drinks and loosen up a bit. However, if your goal is to meet girls, this probably isn't going to be the best way to go about it. If you're just looking for a casual night of hanging out with people though, feel free to roam from group to group until you find people you click with. Chances are you'll end up at Denny's at 3 in the morning, drinking burnt coffee and eating something greasy that may or may not include food with all the saliva.

As for meeting women, which is far better than the scenario described above, you'll note that going out alone might actually up your game a bit. It's likely that your “wingman” buddies have been holding you back by scaring off girls, subconsciously (or consciously) cock blocking you, or taking up too much of your time that could have otherwise been used to hunt the elusive vaginabeast. Meeting girls when you're out alone isn't all that different from when you're with your friends, other than the aforementioned benefits – it's not like you bring your buddies with you when you approach a girl, right? Please tell me I'm right.

“But people will think I'm weird if I'm out alone!” How are they going to know? And besides, the only times people will think you're weird is if you act weird. Yes, people will think you're a creeper if you go and sit at an empty table by yourself, slowly drink a glass of scotch, eyeball the room, and wait patiently for your chance to strike. People won't think you're weird if you stand around by the bar, have a beer, and make casual conversation with the folks around you. If you're a smoker, you're at a distinct advantage, since tobacco users generally congregate in the smoking area and are receptive to lines like, “Got a light?” to get the conversation started. Lung cancer is totally worth it for a slight social edge in your youth.

Let's recap. Going out alone is not scary. You are a big boy. You might even meet some new, interesting people (including women) that you never would have met if you had gone out with your friends, or not gone out at all. So the next time your buddies bail on you, you won't even have to care – the night belongs to you now.