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05.30.08 From the Viking


Fight Club: Your Dog VS Two Stray Cats


Written by DV Staff

Who would win in a fight to the bitter end… your beloved pooch or a pair of vicious alley cats?

 

 

Fight Club: Dog VS Stray cats
 

 

YOUR DOG

Strengths: His size (he's bigger than the two cats put together). His long legs, which are good for stomping and running. His significantly bigger mouth, which is good for biting.

Weaknesses: He's been neutered, so unlike what cliched movies say, you CAN take at least a little bit of the fight out of the dog. He's used to not fighting and, instead, getting belly rubs from you. He's disease free (which, in the grand scheme of things, is great but is a disadvantage when it comes to fights to the death).

TWO STRAY CATS

Strengths: Strength in numbers, as the saying goes. Their teeth and claws are sharper than the dog's. They are insane, hungry and diseased, which means they'll fight past the point of reason.

Weaknesses: They're small and closer to the ground. If one is taken out, then the other one is gonna be easy to kill as well. They might die at any second due to starvation and disease anyways. 

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There are 31 comments so far:
Lukas
05/30/2008 11:03
dog, hopefully
chris
05/30/2008 11:06
My dog would destroy 2 stray cats
Matty
05/30/2008 11:12
German Shephard, Boxer/Pit mix and a Chow.

Nuff said!

A javalina had the nuts to walk straight up to my front door on Saturday at 2 a.m. I had the door open with the security door shut and my dogs didn't do a fucking thing!! So maybe the cats!
John
05/30/2008 11:15
I don't have a dog currently, but our cat is abotu the size of a dog...I swear she's part puma. SHe could take on 2 stray normal sized cats
joe
05/30/2008 11:25
My dog (before she died) took down 2 stray dogs, i doubt 2 cats would be a challenge. No she didn't die from wound, she died 7 years later.
jibson
05/30/2008 11:27
my dog consistently has his ass kicked by my single cat, he's quite the metrosexual, lovely soft curly fur though.
Jorge
05/30/2008 11:33
My dog is a piss poor example of her wolf's heritage... she literally craps its heart out with fireworks... 2 stray cats would make her their bitch but i still love that furball.
joe
05/30/2008 11:37
man up your dog jibson.....
Hurricanes
05/30/2008 11:37
My dog is named Cheney so you figure it out.
mrjomorisin
05/30/2008 11:39
After witnessing my female Bull Mastiff:
1) Play 'Toss & Catch' with an Opossum.
2) Leave 1/2 of many types of mammals in my back yard.
3) Eat through a wall to get at a stray dog in my yard,
I do believe she can, as quickly as she would want to, dispose of a couple of cats.
Craig
05/30/2008 11:39
My dog is nothing more than an ambulatory digestive tract. Two cats COMPLETELY kick his ass.
Lukas
05/30/2008 11:46
yeh my dog would have her ass kicked, but that'd be sad
joe
05/30/2008 12:38
admin, stop recycling links please!!!!!
yesterday under manly links you linked to hottest rock kids or whatever, now today under hotties......ugh
Jesse
05/30/2008 12:49
Depends on which dog. I don't currently have any dogs, but up until recently I had a Jack Russell and a red-nosed pitbull.

Normally I would pick two cats because cat's don't fuck around, especially two stray tomcats. But a very large, very strong and vicious pitbull would of course make quick work of two cats. My Jack Russell would make it an entertaining fight, because them sumbitches are smart and crazy, but eventually two cats would get him.

Lukas
05/30/2008 12:50
joe... haha this is a case of mofos not checking each other's work... good call
joe
05/30/2008 13:00
i beleive it happened earlier in the week too, not a bad thing but i was looking forward to scoping out new hotties, not day old news
Lukas
05/30/2008 13:05
hey, we do a pretty good job for three super drunk mofos, i think
Lukas
05/30/2008 13:05
yes, i pat myself on the back regularly
Kristus
05/30/2008 13:35
My Great Fucking Dane would take them out. No problem.
Matty
05/30/2008 13:39
You pat yourself on the weiner hourly!! Zing.
joe
05/30/2008 13:49
'sall good lukas, as i said i was just hoping for new hotties, and there's only 3 fulltime peeps?
Lukas
05/30/2008 14:35
3 and a half, for DV at least
Lukas
05/30/2008 14:35
we got some floaters and freelancers of course
Steve
05/30/2008 15:31
My current dog (a beagle/terrier) is a lover, not a fighter. He'd try to fight the cats, but he'd realize he's lost and come running to me for cover. I had a 150 lb german shepherd (she died last year : ( ) that would utterly rip the cats apart.

Dave
05/30/2008 15:38
My two boxers would tag team TEN cats....they would wear that pussy out!
Benjamin
05/30/2008 15:50
No dog-o'-mine has ever or will ever be neutered. That shit is barbaric. So my dog still has testosterone enough to kill plenty of smaller animals.
The Hitman
05/30/2008 16:18
@Lukas: a half? what's that, like a midget?
Erik
05/30/2008 16:30
Chris, I count as 1 1/2.
mrjomorisin
05/30/2008 16:36
So, the 'staff' is composed of 3 full wits, and one 1/2? Is this true?
Whale
05/30/2008 19:24
My dog back home is too old to do much of anything, but im looking into getting a Olde English Bulldog, no neutering allowed im gonna stud the bastard, make him pay me back for buying his ass.
The Hitman
06/01/2008 21:21
somehow, erik, i believe that...

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