06.23.08 From the Viking
Fight Club: Grizzly Bear VS Hippo
Written by DV Staff
Which animal would win in a fight to the death… a grizzly bear or a hippopotamus?

GRIZZLY BEAR
Strengths: Can weigh up to 1,200 pounds. Have long claws and teeth that are good for killing fish... and people. Can stand 8 feet tall. Has no real predator other than man (who is barely a predator and, if unarmed, clearly prey).
Weaknesses: They hibernate. They can be pussies if their legs get attacked (which is why they rarely engage wolves in full battle). They aren't true carnivores.
HIPPOPOTAMUS
Strengths: Can weigh upwards of 3,000 pounds. More people are killed by hippos than they are by any other animal in Africa. They can run faster than humans.
Weaknesses: They're herbivores. They have somewhat sensitive skin.
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...unless it's DV's resident Bear, in which case he'd win just on being a hardcore bastich....
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Crocodiles don't even fuck with hippos...