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06.23.08 From the Viking

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Fight Club: Grizzly Bear VS Hippo

Written by DV Staff

Which animal would win in a fight to the death… a grizzly bear or a hippopotamus?

 

 

Fight Club: Bear VS Hippo
 

 

GRIZZLY BEAR

Strengths: Can weigh up to 1,200 pounds. Have long claws and teeth that are good for killing fish... and people. Can stand 8 feet tall. Has no real predator other than man (who is barely a predator and, if unarmed, clearly prey).

Weaknesses: They hibernate. They can be pussies if their legs get attacked (which is why they rarely engage wolves in full battle). They aren't true carnivores. 

HIPPOPOTAMUS

Strengths: Can weigh upwards of 3,000 pounds.  More people are killed by hippos than they are by any other animal in Africa. They can run faster than humans. 

Weaknesses: They're herbivores. They have somewhat sensitive skin. 

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There are 19 comments so far:
mrjomorisin
06/23/2008 15:10
The hippo would absolutely FUBAR the grizzly, especially in water.
Crocodiles don't even fuck with hippos...
The Hitman
06/23/2008 15:12
Hippo. Tougher hide, and if it clamps its mouth closed on the bear it ain't lettin' go.

...unless it's DV's resident Bear, in which case he'd win just on being a hardcore bastich....
DropkickSlurpees
06/23/2008 15:16
Hippo, absolutely. The only thing that could defeat a hippo would be a Rhinoceros. Even then it would be close. But a Grizzly would get torn up.
Hurricanes
06/23/2008 15:18
The didn't call the game Hungry Hungry Grizzlies for a reason.
Lukas
06/23/2008 15:21
hippo.. those mother fuckers are insane
joe
06/23/2008 15:21
hippo....if in a hippo's domain, way up north in the cold (canada eh?) i think perhaps the grizzly as the hippo might not perform well in the cold
Matty
06/23/2008 15:32
Hiphopopotomus cuz, it's rhymes have a better flow.
Matty
06/23/2008 15:33
You were talking about a rap battle, right?
Oscar
06/23/2008 15:36
Hippos can be HUGE! It's like a tank vs. a hummer.
Melissa
06/23/2008 15:55
Hiphopopatumus!
Mexico Joe
06/23/2008 16:43
I'm going with bear cause they look cooler, hippos look like fat overweight bitches
Michael
06/23/2008 17:36
Hippos, for the EASY win!
Whale
06/23/2008 18:53
hippo ftw
Kennedy
06/23/2008 21:16
Last time I checked bears not hippos were the #1 threat to America.
lweber
06/24/2008 00:50
WTF is this? Some fucking advertise in the comments? Delete this shit!
david
06/24/2008 07:08
hippo...they are possibly the most insane mofos in the whole animal kingdom. oh yeah, hey "ghhg" please die. Thank you.
Edmund
06/24/2008 09:32
fight someone twice your size. david and goliath only happens in the book.
Edmund
06/24/2008 09:41
and oh, here's my answer. Hippo wins big time.
DK
07/01/2008 16:04
unless it's a bear with chainsaw hands...NOTHING can kill that (except me)

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