Fight Club: Bill O'Reilly VS Keith Olbermann

Written by DV Staff

Which blowhard would win in a fight to the death… the conservative, Fox News' Bill O'Reilly or the liberal, MSNBC's Keith Olbermann?

BILL O'REILLY

Strengths: Known to have fits of rage. His novels (yes, he writes novels) are filled with vile, violent passages. He's Irish. He's left some disgusting phone sex messages on a co-worker's voicemail (not sure how that helps other than driving the point home that he's a gross mofo).

Weaknesses: He's pretty old now. When Keith Olbermann attacks him on the air, he sends subordinates to attack, which is a pussy move.

KEITH OLBERMANN

Strengths: He's also got a temper (to the point where he gets fired from lots of networks). He doesn't let up, ever. He seems in slightly better shape than O'Reilly.

Weaknesses: Since he's anti-war, one would assume he might go a bit easy during a fight. Even though he looks kinda tall, he's actually (according to the net) shorter than O'Reilly (though just barely).

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There are 13 comments so far:

chris

06/16/2008 11:13

douche vs. turd sandwhich..... i go with the turd sandwhich

Matty

06/16/2008 11:15

Keith would light him up like a stick of DY-NO-MITE!!

Matty

06/16/2008 11:15

+ Keith was on Sportcenter.

mrjomorisin

06/16/2008 11:15

I think O'Reilly tries to talk his way out of this fight, Olbermann gets in the sucker punch, and is on O'Reilly, and won't let up 'til Lil' Billy is curled up into the fetal position weeping like a violated school girl...Olbermann in 1st Round TKO

mrjomorisin

06/16/2008 11:17

Mrjomorisin's avy hopes Matty's avy goes away, and takes the pyrotechnics with him

Lukas

06/16/2008 11:17

olbermann wins

mrjomorisin

06/16/2008 11:20

Oh Look, Lukas got some new toys over the weekend...

Lukas

06/16/2008 11:24

and then i promptly ate them

Hurricanes

06/16/2008 11:45

O'Reilly. Has a height and weight advantage if I recall correctly. Anyways, everyone knows liberals are pussies. All talk and no balls to back anything up.

John

06/16/2008 12:34

bill's got some weight behind his punches ftw

Oscar

06/16/2008 14:58

Keith is actually huge! Letterman's a tall cat.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh5xu5HvdR4

Bear

06/16/2008 16:16

O'Reilly would win with his Irishness. After that, the rest of us of Irish descent excommunicate him from the race for being the world's biggest douche bag and shame to our drunken, care-free ways. He would probably shoot his mouth off to that, forcing us to beat him until he was nothing put a blood puddle. We'd splash around in that for a while, until we got bored and hit the pub.

Note to Bill O'Reilly,

Fuck you.

Signed,

Pretty much everyone in the world.

Whale

06/16/2008 18:21

Olberman and hopefully he becomes critically wounded in the process..

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Fight Club: Bill O'Reilly VS Keith Olbermann