02.04.08 From the Viking
DV Expose: We Need New Montage Songs
"I need a hero." "You're the best… around!" "Getting STRONGER!" These aren't just inspirational sayings. They're lyrics from so-called Montage Songs, 70s and 80s pop anthems that served as the classic inspirational backdrop to classic montage scenes in action films of that era. Up until the mid-90s you could expect a steady stream of these songs on the radio and in the movies. But somewhere about a decade ago, movie editors and pop musicians lost their way. The inspirational Montage Song hit parade ceased. Well, I think it's about damned time we brought them back.
There have been and will be countless moments that call for inspirational Montage Songs. I'm going to list a few scenarios (both factual and fictional) and propose a brand new Montage Song each one. Any of you musically inclined out there... feel free to write up these songs.
SCENARIO 1: In the wake of the steroids in baseball scandal, ESPN cuts a montage of athletes who might be less exceptional and less celebrated, but who are known to be 'roid-free.
MONTAGE SONG: "Unfiltered Power!" an up-tempo, synth-driven jam meant to lift the spirits of sports fans everywhere.
SAMPLE LYRICS: "There he goes, he's Mr. Clean/ not the fastest one on the scene/ he's a man, not a machine/ just his cleats and a DREAM!/ He won't be beating any records this year/ his playing won't make the whole crowd cheer/ but he's not sour! Heeeeee's... UNFILTERED POWER!!!"
SCENARIO 2: When Ron Paul eventually has his concession speech, the news outlets will need to cut a reel of his greatest moments together. Cue the Montage Song!
MONTAGE SONG: "Alone In The Hall," a slow but heavy drum-filled musical kiss goodbye.
SAMPLE LYRICS: "There he goes/ Into the Night! / But he will never / Give up the FIGHT!/ When the rest said war was the only option, he laughed in their face/ and while they'll get their way, the world will see... he's still ACE!/ Cuz he's... Alone in the Halll! / There goes Rooon Paul!/"
SCENARIO 3: With the Writer's Strike's possible ending occurring well after the time needed to complete the footage already shot for ABC's just-returned scripted drama "Lost," the show's producers are going to have to get creative to fill out the remaining episodes of the season. Uhm, MONTAGE, anyone?!
MONTAGE SONG: "Every Man Is An Island," an "Eye of the Tiger"-inspired rock out which will be placed over unused footage of characters running by themselves on the Island.
SAMPLE LYRICS: "Every Man Is An Island/ Every Man has a shore/ when the tide comes in, he must run/ and run forever more/ ISLAND!"
SCENARIO 4: When Britney Spears eventually dies, news shows will need to cut together a montage. Unfortunately, her music is too expensive to license. No problem... we've got a MONTAGE SONG!!
MONTAGE SONG: "The Moment That She Died," a mid-tempo, inspirational rap
SAMPLE LYRICS: "She left two kids behind/ but don't start crying, boy! / Cuz the moment that she died/ the kiddies cried with joy!/ Well Allllright!"
SCENARIO 5: Will Smith is producing a new version of "The Karate Kid," starring his son. While the original contained the classic Joe Esposito Montage Song "You're The Best," we think rather than recycle the classic, the film's eventual montage will need a new jam.
MONTAGE SONG: "Black Pride, Black Belt," a Stevie Wonder-style song letting the audience know that the Jr. Fresh Prince's karate skills run as deep as his pride for being an African American man.
SAMPLE LYRICS: "He knows his drunken style, man / And he's still carrying that dream/ He'll kick the knowledge facts, man/ as easy as he'll kick you in your spleen/ Cuz He's Got a black belt, man, in havin' black pride!"
Musicians out there... I hope you're listening! Heed to the call and deliver some quality Montage Songs ASAP!
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