DV Expose: The PMS Prank

Let's get this out of the way. PMS is real. Premenstrual women actually have physical side effects that can affect their mood, among other things. But as Pierce Cairns puts it, "I know it exists, but it's silly how females blame their countless problems on PMS.  Being a bitch? PMS.  Bad day at work?  PMS.  Forgot to take out the garbage?  PMS.  Right.  Time for an article."

Mr. Cairns knew his class was going to have a discussion on over-the-counter products sold for PMS (that's the sort of stuff pharmacy students have classes on, I guess... remind me never to become a pharmacy student). So, as Pierce says in his own words, "Having a female-to-male ratio of 4:1 in my class, I thought it would be entertaining to call the whole point of the lecture into question via some 'real research.' "

Our hero then doctored a page from the local newspaper, the Winnipeg Free Press, so it looked like the following:

 

There is no Dr. Barbara Rosenburg nor is there a Maria Walsh, except in Pierce's head. 

Before bringing the doctored article into class, Pierce showed it to his girlfriend who, as would be expected, did not approve. "My girlfriend thought it was stupid and that I would get in trouble, but I have frequently avoided such consequences of my actions and did it anyway." Bravo, Pierce. Played like a true man.

The key to Pierce's prank is how it got around. He brought the piece in and then "distributed it through the class as if the professor had brought it for lecture material." And, thanks to the wonders of the Canadian school system, the people in his class took the handout, no questions asked.

At first, Pierce thought all his hard work had been for nothing. "The initial reaction was slim to nil, a little disappointing," he recounts now. "The professor did not find out, and people just read it silently through the class." But as the class went on, word spread and now students and Winnipeg residents alike reference the article as if it were real.

How can we take this further? Download the image above and forward it to ten friends. Upload it to as many message boards as you can think of. Print it out at work or school and pin it up to a bulletin board for coed eyes to see. And if anyone who sees the article ends up finding this site, you'll deny all knowledge of a hoax. Then you should throw down a smoke bomb and run far, far away.

And as for Mr. Cairns... is this the last we've heard from him? I doubt it. He's since pranked his class again (he distributed a fake breakdown of student grades that caused a near riot) and he's even managed to find one of his fake pharmacy articles published. Says Cairns: "I have also written an article about 'Pharmacotheology,' my imaginary integration of pharmacy and religion, which is being published in our national pharmacy students newsletter, CAPSIL.  That was also a joke, but naive as they were they actually published it." You can view that here.

Pierce Cairns, we salute you...