DV Expose: The Homeless Pornography Industry

BACKGROUND ON THE INDUSTRY 

Although the exact origins of the homeless pornography industry are not clear, I can provide you with some sense for how it all got started. Basically, a bunch of dirty homeless men and women were sitting around in some alley, just minding their business, when a white businessman offered to buy them 24 donut holes (from Krispy Kreme) if they would take off their rags and bone each other. At first, the homeless folks were reluctant, for they did not trust the businessman, who we'll refer to as "Richard God," or, as his friends knew him, "Dick God." However, after they worked out the details of the donut holes' flavors, 12 of which would be chocolate and 12 of which would be glazed, they soon disrobed and started going at it. Needless to say, it was disgusting. 

Dick God filmed the whole dirty ordeal on his camcorder, which he conveniently carried 24/7 in his briefcase, and the rest, as they say, is porn history.  

THE RISE OF AN INDUSTRY

Ever since Dick God filmed his first hobo orgy, homeless pornography has spread like wildfire; conveniently, it keeps his hobo porn stars warm at night beneath their newspapers. Not only has the industry been a cost-efficient means to produce low quality erotica, but it's been a tremendous outlet of self-expression for homeless men and women across the country. The creativity involved in the films, particularly recent ones like "Your Cock Tastes Like Trash" and "Dumpster Orgy," have been rewarding for both the hobo's body and mind. And of course, the weekly stipend of 17 donut holes per hobo makes the situation pretty much a dream come true. 

However, the growth of the homeless pornography industry has always been limited by fears of the American government's intervention -- if the industry gets too big, and threatens mainstream pornography (where Uncle Sam is presumably getting some money under the table), then a shit load of hobos, not to mention Dick God, would be up cum creek without a paddle. Additionally, the industry has received a lot of flack over the years from civil union groups, who also threaten the industry's continued rise. For some reason, these groups believe that it's "immoral" to make homeless people have sex with each other, even if they are only kinda drunk when they sign waivers and are generously compensated with donut holes. Fortunately, the industry has so far been successful with bribing civil union groups with complimentary DVDs and behind the scenes access. One particularly staunch union leader, however, insisted on blowing his load on the chest of a naked homeless woman before he agreed to not pursue litigation.

THE FUTURE OF THE INDUSTRY

At this point, the future of the homeless pornography industry seems bright, so long as Uncle Sam and civil union groups don't cockblock the shit out of it. According to Dick God, who I happened to run into at a local Krispy Kreme last week (picking up his actors' compensation, I assume), this summer will feature a handful of exciting new releases. Although he declined to reveal the titles of these films, he assured me that they would be the dirtiest ones yet, filled with more girl on garbage action, lots of fast food wrappers getting placed in weird holes, and most notably, vagina hair that's so long and unkempt that it resembles Rastafarian dreadlocks.  

Regardless of the industry's future, the perception of homeless people in American society is already starting to change. More and more, Americans are realizing that hobos are more than just lazy alcoholics who beg for change and say creepy things like "God Bless You" when we walk past them: they are real human beings, who, just like us, enjoy having sex and eating donut holes. And so, please, the next time you see some homeless people on the street, don't think of them as worthless scum. At the very least, ask them if you can buy a copy of their latest DVD. Even if you're not necessarily going to watch it, it's important that you support the industry.