DV EXPOSE: Our Loophole Culture

 

LOOPHOLES? WHAT THE EFF? 

 

 

"Loophole" is a legal term (go figure). It's the name for an often unknown "exception" in the law that allows people to carry out actions normally against the law (again, go figure). Loopholes in tax law allow people or corporations to pay less taxes if they form a residence in a second location that has lower taxes than their point of origin. This is why you'll find so many companies incorporated in Delaware (including Florida-based Walt Disney Corporation and, yes, 50% of all other United States publicly traded corporations...and the ONLY REASON EVER to visit Delaware).  Offshore Swiss, Cayman Island and Dubai bank accounts were also famous examples of tax loopholes for the rich (these have since been fucked over by the big, bad IRS). (1)

You'll also hear, from time to time, about people who've committed a crime who are let off thanks to a "legal loophole," such as the freeing of Queens, NY man Kerry Bartow thanks to a legal loophole that saw him charged with the wrong crime (he was charged with depraved indifference murder when he should've been charged with intentional murder).(2)

These examples were, for quite some time, rare and occurred only among the "lucky" or already privileged (and please no hate mail for calling freed murderers "lucky"). But increasingly, it seems the just about everyone (corporations, the government, you and me) are pursuing the loopholes as the rule, not the exception. Just ask that "free money" guy.

LOOPHOLES IN GOVERNMENT/CORPORATIONS

One of the most egregious examples of governmental loopholes in recent memory was going on until very, very recently. What's the best way for our government to do as it pleases in Iraq without being found accountable? Find the loophole, of course -- in the form of Blackwater and the other private contractors. we farm out a lot of the secret, "mercenary" work conducted there. If we used the Army to carry out the secret missions like torturing and killing targets in the shadows, we'd run the risk of breaking our own laws (stuff that stops our armed forces from shooting first and asking questions later and carrying out cruel and unusual punishment). (3) Thankfully, the House passed a bill forcing private contractors to be subject to US law (which the White House was not happy with)(4). The days of private contractors eating Iraqi children alive are over. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. The kids were dead and fully cooked...trust me ;). 

 

Thanks to another governmental loophole, oil companies that drilled in this country received "royalty payments" that amounted to $10 billion, which allowed them to profit even if their businesses should've been at a loss.(5) A similar loophole exists on the local level for most states' subsidies for growing corn and other crops with a strong lobby in Washington (6). Hey, US government, I planted some tomatoes in my backyard and I also dug for oil (which I didn't find). You may send my billion dollars to my PayPal, thanks.

A lot of these subsidy and royalty loopholes were started to help out companies and farmers (respectively) who were going through financial troubles. But thanks to massive exploitation, a large portion of people stand to make more money off the royalties and subsidies than they will off selling oil or crops. The corn subsidies are so strong that the rule stands that the more land and corn seed you purchase, the more money you stand to make (no matter how well your crops grow). I guess the old adage -- "There's no such thing as a sure thing" -- is no longer true. But that's okay--adages are lame anyways. I think we should change the name of the profession from "Farmer" to "Subsidy Welfare Whore." Just a suggestion...any takers?

LOOPHOLES IN EVERYDAY LIFE

It started with that annoying-ass Matthew Lesko (the aforementioned "Free Money Guy") who's been selling his book about how to shake down the government for "free money" for years. His book is a mostly useless exercise in discovering loopholes in the government that will allow you and me to get some cash "for free" (although, mostly, the book serves as a way for Matthew Lesko to get some cash FOR FREE...the stuff in his book is all readily available information).

But now there's a cottage industry popping up that's dedicated to hacking everyday life. A website dedicated to this movement, Every Day Loopholes (9), brings you blog posts every day about how to "outsmart the system" cent by cent. This site (as well as magazines and websites dedicated to the same cause) actually help normal folks save money and stop getting ripped off (because companies and the government love loopholes too, remember?). It just sucks that to stay ahead, people have to "outsmart the system." Why can't 411 always be free, for example? Why do we have to lie to our cell phone carrier to get out of a shitty contract? Because we'll get stepped on otherwise, is the obvious answer. Doesn't mean it sucks less that we have to find the loophole (that sounds vaguely sexual, doesn't it...sucks to find the loophole...heh heh heh).

 

LOOPHOLES IN POPULAR CULTURE

Show Business isn't excluded from perversion thanks to rampant loopholes. Companies and individuals alike are exploiting once overlooked loopholes to pull a fast one on consumers.

Note the rise of the Myspace and Youtube artist. More talentless singers, rappers, actors and comedians are infiltrating Show Business than ever before and behind most of these "How the fuck did she get a deal?" singer (or actress or comedian), you'll find a Myspace and/or Youtube account with millions of friends, plays and views. To the outside observer (and most tech-ignorant execs), these artists seem like safe bets (and in Show BUSINESS, one that's not exactly thriving during a down economy, safe bets are needed).

But dig a little beneath the surface and you'll find the methods of many of these talentless singers and actors:  they hack their views and friend count, thus tricking the powers that be (7). How else do you account for "Little Loca's" ability to land on TV? (8)

Another example of artists "hacking" the system recently has occurred in rap music, with the rise of club/ringtone rap. With more and more executives losing their self confidence and insisting on testing rap songs in clubs, we find a rise of rap songs that are designed to exclusively play well in the club. That's how we find a genre that birthed Jay Z, Nas, Biggie and Outkast suddenly shitting out artists like Mims ("This is Why I'm Hot") and Soulja Boy ("Crank That"). These songs are sonically and lyrically designed to perform amazingly in the club (keep the music simple so nothing's lost in a big room and keep the lyrics simple so people can shout along during the first listen), which tricks fickle execs into thinking they've found the next smash hit.

Executives themselves exploit loopholes all the time. How else do you explain the constant reissuing of our favorite albums, movies and TV shows? Or how else do you account for constantly increasing hours for reality programming on TV or incessant sequels and remakes at the multiplex? The executives have found a loophole out of the risk of putting money behind fresh new content--repackage, rehash and "reality."

THE COST OF IT ALL

 

 

What happens when our government is in debt, our corporations make off like bandits, we fill up on corn syrup and are force fed boring, rehashed content over and over again? Well, why work hard or develop a talent or grow healthy food when it's easier to just exploit a loophole?

The sturdier footing this type of thinking gains, the more and more we're in danger of stalling out as a culture. There's a connection between those stale chips you're eating and that stale music you're listening to--both signify the fruit we bear when we value exploiting the system over working within it. Alright, I'm outtie...I gotta go tend to my cherry tomato farm...hope my subsidy's come through, or I'm TOTALLY gonna order some cigs from Canada.