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07.08.08 From the Viking


DV Expose: Guns Should NOT Be Pretty


Written by DV Staff

Gentlemen, while I am not one to have a problem with gender equality overall, nor with women being kickass when they want to be, I was recently shown something that blasphemes the holiest of all things Manly. I was so disturbed, so disgusted that I felt I needed to go kill something with my bare hands and then shoot it repeatedly, then gut it with my Rambo-sized hunting knife.

What could possibly cause such a reaction in someone who is generally calm, composed, and usually rational and level-headed? 

http://www.glamguns.com/ 

This, gentlemen, is the last straw.  

Guns should NOT be pretty. 

Guns should NEVER be PINK or have fuzzy covers so it doesn’t chafe your arm when you’re holding it. 

Crime Scene Investigation equipment should NEVER look like this:

…unless maybe it was Liberace or Elton John’s murder…  

Military Weapons should NEVER, EVER have popular cartoon characters on them…like 

Hello Kitty 

My Little Pony,  

Dora the fucking Explorer 

or the fucking Care Bears!! 

And we should NEVER, EVER, EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER see 

Mother Teresa or 

Princess Di on them. 

Martha Stewart Mines? NO!! “Fuck Martha Stewart! It’s all going down!”

…On second thought, I kinda wouldn’t mind seeing Martha Stewart blow the fuck up. 

Even so…this has gone too far. Implements of killing and destruction should never be cute. This is so wrong. Guns and knives are supposed to be cold, unfeeling, uncompromising…just like the men that wield them. These bastardizations scream, “Hi! I’m here to kill you now! (insert girlish giggle here)” Is this all part of the plan? To distract your target with cutesy characters and bright colors so you can off them more easily??? I think not.  

Are there some women…or maybe womyn…who weren’t content with the cold, hard steel of the weapons of war, and instead wanted kinder, gentler, happier deaths?  

“Oh, look! I’m being stabbed to death by Dora! Yay!!” 

Yeah, right. This is obviously an attempt to cash in on some womyn’s attempts to take something traditionally manly and pussify it. The womyn who would purchase something like this would certainly never USE these things…they’d mount them on the wall as some sort of male bashing trophy, right next to their last boyfriend’s balls. 

This is too much, gentlemen. We must not stand for this gun pussification!!

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There are 11 comments so far:
Hurricanes
07/08/2008 15:15
It would be fun to watch those douche bag muslims waving pink Hello Kitty AK's in the air when they get upset about something (everything).
Tipme
07/08/2008 15:41
I WANT ONE
mrjomorisin
07/08/2008 15:49
I would be strangely aroused to see a woman with another type of pink weaponry....
Bear
07/08/2008 16:07
The ladies just think that being equal means they should horn in on ALL the manly activities, whether they have any interest in them or not. People are not equal. Women are better at some things and men are better at some things, it balances out. Women should stop trying to do shit like races cars, shoot guns, play in rock bands, etc... Women boxers are cool though, those bitches are vicious.
joe
07/08/2008 16:19
i am disappointed that we have let society slip this far. we must end the madness.
Steve
07/08/2008 16:26
They don't even look like real guns. Imagine coming across that on the battlefield...
Matty
07/08/2008 17:02
and all the shells can look like mini-tampons.
Cali Adam
07/08/2008 17:04
Even as stupid as they look imagine seeing this shit in real life. You'd probably just stand there thinking the shit wasn't real and get your fucking head blown off. I thinks I'll be ordering a pink AK-47. Does anyone know I can get that shit into the US? Or into Cali for that matter?
Matty
07/08/2008 17:28
"I would be strangely aroused to see a woman"

That came straight from JOMO!!!
wesley
07/08/2008 18:22
dude...that care bears vest is BA
david
07/08/2008 18:33
i've always felt nothing screams "brutal killing machine" quite like hello kitty.......( man, i gotta get one of those Dora knives.)

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