Comedy List: Worker Non-Productivity

Looking at porn, getting caught, getting fired, and repeating...

stalking mcr

flirting with any chick that crosses their path

Vegging out

its not that productivity is down, its just the dea is doing a good job keeping us from using our superpowers (read crack) to improve productivity

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Mooching food

I'm not even productive enough to do something witty

thinking of something witty to post on a site

Napping, yahoo image searching for NSFW pics of international babes, talking to people on the telephone.. Regretting not being the boss, paying bills with money made spending time on DV all day.. Speaking of bills time to pay some.........

DV....enough said

Convicing myself that my supervisor was hot 10 yrs ago

toeing the line between smart-ass and rude

your mom?

Acting like I'm working so I'm productive but not in a since that it's helping

trying to find a walkthru for a videogame all while trying to aviod the work filter that filters anything to do with gaming because I got caught playing online poker for 7.5 out of 8 hrs a day.....yeah yeah you know it

calling my boy long distance

Laughing at Lukas cause of the fact that he's EFF and cutting makes him thinner.

and much less likely to get laid

drinking this flask of tequilla that is taped to my inner thigh.....prom style

Mark, u better be careful not to get caught here lest u get DV put on the black list

closing the door to their office and rubbing one out to pics of models that are almost nsfw, but not enough to get one caught

Extensive long lunch hours in my "car" winking @ Mark....not in the gay way!

PLAYING GAMES ON LINE

looking at the huge breasts on the chick that just walked into my office...

lol chris

punching 5 year olds in the teef

my productivity is well up, i have progressed from gently pleasuring myself to masturbating like a furious monkey.

listening to taking back sunday

watching "Control" on DVD...

listening to NPR interviews with Interpol

Winking at Mark...in the gay way.

Helping Lukas cut himself

Making a list of links for every girl who in mentioned in a hot or not or whose hotter battle.

umm... stfu?

Answering hours after the DVD contest has ended.

LMAO Jibson

Control...which one was that Lukas? is that the one with Ray Liotta?

eff that is

Mainly, spending time in the Double Viking Church of Lazy-Day saints.

PLAYING DARTS, AND FOOSBALL

at work kevin?

I wish I were drinking and playing shuffleboard right now...

Church of Lazy-Day Saints me likes.....
Taking Back Sunday Lukas?????
You've gone to far with the EFF don't you think?

Seriously, though, that chick has some HUGE breasts. :)

@ Adam...I'm moving to officially name the Church...This will be, from here on, referred to as:

The Double Viking Church of the Lazy-Day Saints

What do you guys think?

taking back sunday are good.
attached to a really fat bird hitman? boob job? freakish stick figure with massive appendages?

@MAC YUP, AT WORK, WE GOT A DART BOARD AND FOOLSBALL TABLE

that's one religion i could get on with killer

@ Hitman, check if they're real. The rest of us need to know before we can do any more work.

@ Killer sounds good to me

(we're working on something, an online shrine to our church, of sorts... should be ready soon )

Howd u get do lucky?

*so lucky*

@ Ben: To quote Terry Hatcher in Seinfeld: "They're real, and they're spectacular."

Sounds good EFF...fag.

LOL @ Chris

(control is the fucking biopic about Joy division... it's fucking ghey)

Cutting yourself Lukas does not contribute to the DV Church Of Lazy-Day Saints!!!!!!!!

hey, stop picking on me! i think you've had your fun!

I was in class the other day and looked across the room and thought to myself, "How did I miss THOSE tits?!" HAHA I had the class for 3 weeks before noticing them!

They were, just like you say Chris, Real and Spectacular. Shame the girl wasn't as good as her tits, though. HAHA

@ Jibs: Not fat at all, she's what we black guys in the states call "thick", which basically means she's got a lot of arse, but not fat...hourglass figure, without being anorexic...

EFF = Satan of the DVCoLDS

i wish i was black and had my own language

lol @ Killer, hey, we take what we can get during the work day...lol

lol @ jibs, no worries, mate, you've got your own language and use words like arse and wanker and bloody hell...we in the states don't have that...it took me the longest time to find out that "bloody" is a really bad curse word in your "English" speaking countries...I was talking to an Aussie chick once and said bloody to her, and she actually got offended...lol

When you cry Lukas, do you cry blood? I don't think you've had enough...

Bloody Hell Hitman

LMAO Adam

she was a prude, bloody is probably the least harmful of the cusses and is beloved by slightly exasperated old people and in old films as it was all they could get away with. and australians used it in an advert for their tourism, it had a hot chick in a bikini saying "so where the bloody hell are you?". actually that got banned by some fascists so a point well made.

when you said bloody she prolly just perioded all over herself and thought you noticed

"Im sorry you decided to use my leg as a tampon"

fighting the urge to click on the NSFW links Killer puts up

(isn't bloody come from 'christ's blood' or some shit? explain the expression)

some say it may be derived from the phrase "by Our Lady", a sacrilegious invocation of the Virgin Mary, others say sthe slang use of the term started with "bloody drunk" meaning "fired up and ready for a fight". the offensive use of the word first came up during the Wars of Roses when Royalty and nobility that is all those "of the blood" (meaning blue-blooded), The suggestion that it originated as a reference to Jesus "bleeding" on the cross is compelling for its shock value, callousness and sacrilegious intent, just as the Irish, and those of the diaspora, will exclaim "suffering Jesus" in response to something shocking.
wikipedia also says it hasn't been considered profane for a long time, even Shakespeare used it

jibson the scholar

some more words- 'bristols' means breasts from the rhyming slang "bristol cities- titties"
so hitman might say 'what a stupendous set of bristols that woman has'

oh, nvm, wikipedia the scholar

stolen from wiki and the dictionary on my shelf i might add

its ok, the internet was made to be plagiarized

also, if something's "Bristol fashion" it means in good order. dictionaries are awesome, and looking up rude words is still fun

bristol city titties niiice

I must say, Christina Aguilera has got some nice Bristols in the hotties section pics

In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary "Come Again?"

is that an invitation mark?

Yes.
And Mark'll be happy to accumodate you.

it may be painful to accomodate me

Yep, this conversation is going into no-man's land...

yeesh

you guys are sick.....oh wait Lukas is the EFF......

it won't be no-man's land for long, it will all be mark's
i'm not sure if that's dirty or not, but i know what will be..

herpes

mark isn't an EFF, he's a bufu

Man i thought Lukas was the gay EFF of the day.

he was, Whale...but I think he's retaliating because Mark didn't accept his advances...lol

HAS productivity gone done? or have expectations gone UP? something to think about.