Comedy List: Things You Say Before Getting Kicked Off An Airplane

Naomi Campbell isn't allowed to fly British Airways anymore.  That's all well and good, but what if you get the feeling you're about to get the old heave ho?  What do you say to make it all worth it?

• "I inspected this mofo myself.  Eeeeevrything's fine."
• "Do stewardesses still provide… you know… full service?"
• "Tell the Captain to watch his six."
• "Help me find the best place to hide a roughly human body-sized object."
• "I always forget, are we allowed to have machine guns, or no?"