Comedy List: Things Cash Warren Thought As Alba Gave Birth

When you've impregnated one of the hottest women in the world, your mind has to be a maelstrom of activity.  That is, unless you're Cash Warren, in which case you're probably thinking along one of these lines:

• I guess I should probably kill myself.
• Well, it's all downhill from here.  And by downhill, I mean thank God for no pre-nup.
• At least I don't have to pretend I like those Fantastic Four movies anymore.
• I wish I had more fingers and toes.  I've been 20 years old forever.
• I wonder if this kid will have any talent?  Haha… nahhhh!