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03.10.08 From the Viking

Hot Girls on Live Web Cams!

Comedy List: The Effects of Drug-Laden Drinking Water

Written by DV Staff

An Associated Press probe has revealed that U.S. drinking water is tainted with minute amounts of all sorts of different prescription drugs ranging from hormones to cholesterol medication to crystal meth.  Alright, there's no meth, but what do you think the long term effects of this tiny drug cocktail will be?

  • An incremental increase in fiddling while the country burns.
  • We'll be too crazy to notice when everybody starts getting mad cow disease.
  • It's going to cancel out all the Chinese lead.
  • Superpowers.  We'll have 'em.
  • You mean you haven't started laying eggs yet? 

YOUR TURN! 

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There are 196 comments so far:
Mark
03/10/2008 15:25
Your jeans will get so tight that you dick will appear as a division sign....ball, dick, ball
jibson
03/10/2008 15:27
you'll all become over-agressive fat, lazy, celebrity-obsessed douchebags.
jibson
03/10/2008 15:27
and leave nero alone, he was a top guy, and a very good bit of software
SoFa
03/10/2008 15:30
i will move to the states to acquire the tainted water
Mark
03/10/2008 15:31
silently and stealth that is sofa
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 15:34
@Jibs...I don't blame the water for that one...
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:34
Taint will be the word of the year
InglewoodJack
03/10/2008 15:35
@ mac, awesome
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:35
women will grow mustaches and penises
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:36
San Fransisco will prefer 100% butsekts instead of its current 97% preference
InglewoodJack
03/10/2008 15:36
killer your avy looks like donkey lips at an ICP fanclub meeting.
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:36
Hawaii will sink
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:37
German will get das boot
Mark
03/10/2008 15:37
LMAO @ I.J.......great call dude!
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:37
Canada will export pineapples
Mark
03/10/2008 15:38
Edward Norton will get that schwastica tatoo back on his chest
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:38
Britney Spears will live in a cave at the bottom of the ocean
Mark
03/10/2008 15:38
Mac's hair will un-feather
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:38
Richard Simmons will sweat to death
Mark
03/10/2008 15:38
Grendel stylo
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:38
(NEVER!)
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:39
the 80's will repeat them selves completely
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:39
Blood will be the new garlic
InglewoodJack
03/10/2008 15:39
Record holding athlete's will have their career records beat by rookies. Who can then blame it on the water, literally.
jibson
03/10/2008 15:40
you'll all go medieval english style. back in the day everyone used to drink beer, or wine if they were rich bastards as it had been purified and the water was ridiculously polluted and so they lived in a permanent state of light inebriation and avoided cholera, perfect.
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:40
feces will smell like a jar of change
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:41
using history against us Jib, i like i like
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:41
jibson will use history against us
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:42
some men will prefer their cars warm tail pipe to any woman's va jay jay
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:42
the DV community will go silent
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:42
....
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:42
(uh oh)
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:42
(damn water)
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:43
u turn gay like poms
InglewoodJack
03/10/2008 15:43
people all over will be randomly shitting themselves
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:43
(Echo... echo... echo..........echo)
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:43
mac runs out of ideas of things to make
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 15:43
History will use itself against Jibs
Mexico Joe
03/10/2008 15:43
sweet ass mutations will happen, some horrible and some awesome, life is gonna be like the Xmen comics!
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:43
men will have PMS
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 15:43
History will use Jibs against the world.
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:43
two dicks
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:44
three dicks
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:44
fifty goddammed dicks
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:44
one cup
Mexico Joe
03/10/2008 15:44
hey jibs, what the fuck's the difference between a quid and a pound? I hear that shit all the time in the movies but I don't fucking get it
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 15:44
The world will use Jibs against history.
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:44
dont feel pain
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:44
if u take off his shoes ull see dicks growing off his feet
jibson
03/10/2008 15:44
slang for a pound dear joe.
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:45
immortality
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 15:45
Also, what's the difference between a squid and an octopus?
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:45
i wonder if the world will use jibs against history....
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:45
... it'll be like highlander VIII
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 15:45
Crappier internet pr0n
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:45
squid have ink
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:45
... there can be only one?
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:46
bigger tits for all
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 15:46
We've got a lot of work to do before Wednesday, boys...
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:46
how many killer?
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:46
less internet gay pr0n, woot
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:46
there will be two
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:46
too many
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:47
everyone goes skitzo
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:47
only hot women can reproduce
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:47
thought he had a running total
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:47
rape is no longer fun...?
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:47
only i can make love to ibotd's
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:47
i bet he could again
Mark
03/10/2008 15:47
Mark will lead the free world....
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:47
rape is three times as fun
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:48
it's my dick in a box!
InglewoodJack
03/10/2008 15:48
everyone will be too fucked up to bee after lucky charms
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:48
mark will ultimately fail, but will try every night to do what he does every night
InglewoodJack
03/10/2008 15:48
or be after them....the rabbit will get his damn trix
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:48
the rabbit will finally get some trix
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:48
Women will only be in the kitchen or in the bedroom making sandwiches...with my dong... for her to eat
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:49
snap crackle and pop film an orgy
Whale
03/10/2008 15:49
Mac you mean you dont already have the 50-dick?
jibson
03/10/2008 15:49
the irish will come to rule america (as the only people who live exclusively on alcoholic beverages)
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:49
count chocula will shit blood
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:50
the cubs will finally win it all
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 15:50
I'll give you a count...give me a few minutes...
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:50
no, nevermind that wont happen
InglewoodJack
03/10/2008 15:50
women will all become easy from the water and it wont be from me putting something in it. (this time)
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:51
Janel will absorb the ground water and come back to DV
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:51
killer will start to use normal people as his avatar
InglewoodJack
03/10/2008 15:51
damn you spoonz, that will happen, and it will be this year.
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:51
(what fun would normal ppl be spoonz?)
Mexico Joe
03/10/2008 15:52
the cubs will never win it all, it's a fucking curse, there's no way out fo that shit
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:52
dv will send a search party to find janel rather than just aimlessly complaining about her lack of attendance recently
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:53
(U boys know that the posting mission is done tomorrow at midnight right? we need to get on the ball!!)
Whale
03/10/2008 15:53
I would love super powers, shit even if its something stupid...
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:54
sgt.crpl.lt. McShittyFaceTard will complain about the use of Janel's name
InglewoodJack
03/10/2008 15:54
actually she's probably the cause of the contaminated water. ever heard of bodies being disposed of in a water filtering plant.
Whale
03/10/2008 15:54
How far off are we?
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:54
god i hope so jack, if were still in it this year come september with our shitty ass team like last year b/c u guys couldnt put it away, i dont think i could think less of ur team, i mean ur pretty stacked, and were quite shitty, so the central is pretty much urs
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:54
like being able to sweat bullets, for real bullets
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:54
killers counting
Whale
03/10/2008 15:55
Ha! so your saying we could all be drinking J right now?
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:55
i think killers on the count right nwo
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:55
i like when i sweat nitroglycerin, i really punch dinomyte...
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:55
the NWO will rise again
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:55
Pow
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:56
i wouldnt mind drinking J
Whale
03/10/2008 15:56
Ha! stupidest super powers . . . GO!
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:56
whale, yeah, she got real wet...

the drugs kill off useless celebrities , the spears family ails us no more!!!
jibson
03/10/2008 15:56
i'd slurp on janel
InglewoodJack
03/10/2008 15:56
yeah i can't wait to hear Santo say Fukadome, that will be entertaining. They need to change the field name like they've been talking about and put some of that cash back into the team. We're a number 2 market, spend like it.
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:57
I wish i had the "dumb" power of never needing to sleep again, imagine how much u could get done in a week
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:57
superpower-'having unwaivering belief that 'this will be your year'' is pretty useless
Whale
03/10/2008 15:57
I wouldnt mind it...
jibson
03/10/2008 15:57
and i would like to retract my earlier comment, nero is not cool, he crushed the british revolt and so is a bastard of the highest order, slightly below that gandhi fellow, independence for india, fuck off.
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:57
Ditto Whale,

stupidest super powers . . . GO!
InglewoodJack
03/10/2008 15:57
yeah she is with us in spirit, well more like a wine than a spirit. Unless you smoked her. now we're off topic
Whale
03/10/2008 15:57
J that is
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:58
sneezing pennies
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:58
(once agian, jib on history)
spoonz
03/10/2008 15:58
id like to have superhuman musical skills, like i could pick up any instrument and play like the #1 in the world at it...
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:58
everytime i yawn, eveyone around me farts
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 15:59
We're at about 10,400 right now...4,600 short.
Whale
03/10/2008 15:59
your poop smelling like baking bread
jibson
03/10/2008 15:59
the ability to put a 'u' in a load of unnecessary words
Whale
03/10/2008 15:59
talking to goldfish
InglewoodJack
03/10/2008 15:59
not bad spoonz, except in battle, what are you going to do? C sharp me to death?
MacGyver
03/10/2008 15:59
i shit snikers bars
Whale
03/10/2008 16:00
mad jump rope skillz
spoonz
03/10/2008 16:00
jib are u welsh or a druid?
MacGyver
03/10/2008 16:00
i build a robot that can shit on stuff
spoonz
03/10/2008 16:00
inglewood- ill play the brown note till uve shat ur insides out and ur done..

Whale
03/10/2008 16:01
the ability to stop time and not interact in it
MacGyver
03/10/2008 16:01
(hey guys, were really short of making the deadline.... we all need to rampage on some random page....)
Whale
03/10/2008 16:01
talking to plants
Whale
03/10/2008 16:02
grow your fingernails and hair really long
jibson
03/10/2008 16:02
@spponz, english, and i would prefer it if there are never any allegations that i'm welsh ever again, a graver insult there is not.
spoonz
03/10/2008 16:02
mac we need to rampage on about 6 random pages as anytime the posts go about 700 it goes slow
Whale
03/10/2008 16:04
turn radiowaves into spaghetti
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 16:04
Correct spoonz, that is the easier approach.
MacGyver
03/10/2008 16:04
(See following for examples of rampaging:

http://www.doubleviking.com/caption-this-picture-3-05-08-8302-p.html
http://www.doubleviking.com/fight-club-danny-devito-vs-kirk-douglas-8330-p.html
http://www.doubleviking.com/dude-builds-security-robot-8296-p.html
http://www.doubleviking.com/1950s-star-wars-opening-8284-p.html
http://www.doubleviking.com/comedy-list-repercussions-of-favre-s-retirement-8278-p.html

)
Whale
03/10/2008 16:04
werent there like quite a few of us?
spoonz
03/10/2008 16:05
jibson, i was only inquiring because nero put down the welsh and the druids that were rebelling, and without the romans taking over britian it would be run by the welsh and that would make u one, its kinda like im not pissed at the british/french/spanish/portuguese for killing off the native americans before i got here, would i really want to be one of them?

so perhaps nero was not all that bad as he ordered the death of 80,000 welshmen...
MacGyver
03/10/2008 16:06
ive seen that once a page gets to like 200 it starts to get slow, so pick a page that has like 15 or so comments from last week and add another 150 comments
spoonz
03/10/2008 16:06
im wondering who the other 35 or so people in pv are becasue it seems that theres about 10-15 regular posters and the email said 50 members of pv...
MacGyver
03/10/2008 16:06
turn radiowaves into spaghetti

LOL
Whale
03/10/2008 16:06
what happened to the rest?
MacGyver
03/10/2008 16:07
i know seriously, and if we do get 15,000 then they will get credit too, those bastards
spoonz
03/10/2008 16:07
http://www.doubleviking.com/mr-rogers-plays-video-games-8312-p.html


do best childhood tv show character?
Whale
03/10/2008 16:07
exactly Mac! it wouldnt have been hard at all if we all had 2 posts per page but shit!
MacGyver
03/10/2008 16:07
@ whale, the water
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 16:07
@ Whale...yeah, when this started there were reportedly around 50 people who were part of the mission...If that were true and we all did our part, we'd each only have to make 30 comments each, per day. Obviously, there are a great deal of people not contributing in any way.
Whale
03/10/2008 16:08
new powere speak like yoda permanently
MacGyver
03/10/2008 16:08
i know, well we all do our parts and i hope DV credits all of us to that
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 16:09
Seeing as I can easily say that I post several hundred comments a few days a week, there must be a great deal of people doing nothing.
John
03/10/2008 16:09
hey guys sorry work has been bustin ma ballz recently...hence the sporatic commenting/non-commenting
jibson
03/10/2008 16:09
@spoonz, all the native brits were pretty savage (like in King Arthur) and not that different from the welsh, until the Normans came in and drive them out to the fringes
and boudicca and her tribe were from Norfolk (most eastern point in Britain). and never went into wales.
i feel i am dishing out far too much history today.
John
03/10/2008 16:09
what are we on, some kind of super powers?
MacGyver
03/10/2008 16:09
also here:

http://www.doubleviking.com/vote-for-hillary-or-else-8344-p.html

topic: People we would rather vote for than any of the candidates in the election now
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 16:10
Today alone I'd be comfortable claiming upwards of 3 or 4 hundred comments.
John
03/10/2008 16:10
keep it up jibs, the more comments the better
Whale
03/10/2008 16:10
Yeah i havent ever gone on one of your posting "rampages" but im on here all the time posting
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 16:10
Right, but at least you do your share John. We can all appreciate getting busy at work...
John
03/10/2008 16:10
whistling dixie
John
03/10/2008 16:11
having the worst smelling farts ever
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 16:11
Well, like we mentioned, our shares are only like 30 comments per day.
Whale
03/10/2008 16:12
power: rattling off historical facts at anytime
Whale
03/10/2008 16:13
the power to eat anything
spoonz
03/10/2008 16:13
jibs, perhaps u are right, but i was taught it was the welsh in the uprising nero put down, as opposed to whoever else, but i dont remember much from that british history class other than the girl who sat infront of me didnt like panties and had a nice ass

i would like the superpower of being able to change the smell of bad pussy
jibson
03/10/2008 16:14
oh spoonz, you rascal
Whale
03/10/2008 16:15
the sex eye! the power to make a girl cream with a look
Mexico Joe
03/10/2008 16:17
super power: understanding women, while not really necessary, it would be cool
spoonz
03/10/2008 16:17
whale that would be awesome
Whale
03/10/2008 16:18
the power to read womens thoughts even if i end up like Mel Gibson in that damn movie
Mexico Joe
03/10/2008 16:18
i already have the sex eye whale
jibson
03/10/2008 16:18
the ability to turn water into wine, party central, a good career and most importantly i'd never get cholera should i end up in some backwards shithole where they can't clean their water
Whale
03/10/2008 16:19
photographic reflexes, anything i see, i can do (i watch Jet Li in a movie and i know kung fu, etc)
Whale
03/10/2008 16:20
Ah sorry to offend Joe I still prefer to do the work myself
jibson
03/10/2008 16:20
like the wench out of heroes mr whale? that didn't end well now did it?
Whale
03/10/2008 16:21
the ability to refill my ink cartrige, with my mind!
Mexico Joe
03/10/2008 16:21
that's a character called Echo in marvel comics, Daredevil did her (it's a chick)
Mexico Joe
03/10/2008 16:22
the photographic reflexes thing, not the ink
Whale
03/10/2008 16:22
no that one was the ability to stop time but NOT interact, in heros he can move shit, the useless power would let you stop time but not move or manipulate objects
Whale
03/10/2008 16:23
the photographic reflexes thing i was refering to Taskmaster, but yeah her too
Whale
03/10/2008 16:25
the ability to generate luke warm air/water (as in no fire no ice, just luke warm)
Mexico Joe
03/10/2008 16:26
the ability to find J's rotting corpse
Cali Adam
03/10/2008 16:41
The ability to freeze time in my office but continue commenting on DV without fear of being fired by my boss for wasting his time and money. I would comment more a day but he hovers over me and I always feel him looking over my shoulder....
Mexico Joe
03/10/2008 16:46
you're fucked adam, i do the same to my employees and I am a fucking asshole about it... however, I can do whatever the hell I please, god bless the double standard!
spoonz
03/10/2008 16:53
the ability to choose what side of the double standard u fall on
spoonz
03/10/2008 17:09
the ability to know how many posts over the past 14 days..
spoonz
03/10/2008 17:09
killer, could i get a recount
#1 Killer
03/10/2008 20:33
I'll do one tomorrow while I'm at work.
Peter
03/10/2008 22:24
I miss yet another Rampage....Anyway, I live near Lake Erie, thus I stick to beer anyway...
Steve
03/10/2008 23:43
The EFF will not be gay.
Steve
03/10/2008 23:43
Lukas will like human girls.
Steve
03/10/2008 23:43
Young girls will not wear god-damned Ugg boots and dress at least half normal.
Steve
03/10/2008 23:48
I'll manage to get on here at a decent time and participate in group discussions.
MacGyver
03/10/2008 23:58
nice hat

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