Comedy List: Euphemisms For Sh*tting Yourself

Written by DV Staff

How many times have you loaded your drawers only to find that you didn't have the proper words to describe it to your formal company?  Zero times for me, but that's because I wrote this list.  Thought I'd share it with you.

• I just spread the nutella.
• Oops.  Pulled a grandpa.
• I just commissioned an impressionist painting in my pants.
• My bomb doors have malfunctioned.
• Pardon me.  That was a solid fart.

YOUR TURN! 

LINK TO THIS ARTICLE

jibson

02/26/2008 15:02

well the last time i shat myself i couldn't talk so this has never really come up.

Mark

02/26/2008 15:05

LOL that pic is great

Matty

02/26/2008 15:06

I just spider-dropped a frog team.....in my pantaloones!

Lukas

02/26/2008 15:06

i just brown high fived myself

Lukas

02/26/2008 15:07

i just made a crack head's delight in my sober guy's pants

Lukas

02/26/2008 15:07

i just looked myself up on google

Lukas

02/26/2008 15:07

i just visited the hispanic check cashing place

Mark

02/26/2008 15:07

The cosby captives just escaped thru the poop-chute

Lukas

02/26/2008 15:07

castro... just resigned

Matty

02/26/2008 15:07

had a blow out coming out of turn 4... followed by squicking an audible reminder of what you just did...HA!!

Mark

02/26/2008 15:08

LMAO @ Lukas

Erik

02/26/2008 15:08

Haha Castro.

Lukas

02/26/2008 15:08

i just fired my agent

Lukas

02/26/2008 15:09

erik, you picked a topic i am quite good at... poop euphemisms

Mark

02/26/2008 15:10

a DV Admin toilet snake just snuck into my pants

spoonz

02/26/2008 15:11

baking a potato in my pants

Erik

02/26/2008 15:11

Roast's done!

Lukas

02/26/2008 15:11

i just monitored a dvd contest in my pants

Matty

02/26/2008 15:11

gave birth to Jamie Lynn's (whatever you want to call it)

Lukas

02/26/2008 15:12

(sniff, sniff) It's a girl!

Lukas

02/26/2008 15:12

i just drew pictures on my pants canvas

spoonz

02/26/2008 15:12

played reveille with the brown eye

Lukas

02/26/2008 15:13

also matty, i think it's more gave birth to Jessica Alba's... whatever

Erik

02/26/2008 15:14

I've been Plunk'd!

spoonz

02/26/2008 15:16

laying mines

Lukas

02/26/2008 15:18

i just lost at minesweeper

Matty

02/26/2008 15:19

Either way Lukas, it's going to be a runny brown mess!! But with more talent.

#1 Killer

02/26/2008 15:21

Bomb = dropped.

joe

02/26/2008 15:22

http://www.bebo.com/FlashBox.jsp?FlashBoxId=983719556&

Jesse

02/26/2008 15:22

We always used to say "my pincher's on the fritz". An old guy we used to drink beer with taught us that.

Matty

02/26/2008 15:23

holy shit I think I'm melting!!!......nope only shit.

#1 Killer

02/26/2008 15:27

Dump, engaged.

MacGyver

02/26/2008 15:34

"Oops, I Crapped My Pants"

SoFa

02/26/2008 15:36

classic mac, classic

SoFa

02/26/2008 15:36

how about "i jsut took terry shaivo off of life support"

SoFa

02/26/2008 15:38

or i jsut expelled a life size model of danny devito in my underwear

MacGyver

02/26/2008 15:38

lol sofa

Matty

02/26/2008 15:38

HA Ha SoFa!!!!!!!

Cliff

02/26/2008 15:40

I just summed up Robin Williams' career of late in my skivvies.

MacGyver

02/26/2008 15:40

I think i just threw up out my ass

Bob

02/26/2008 15:40

My personal favorite has always been, "I made the wrong choice." And i hope that you know what I mean.

SoFa

02/26/2008 15:40

my shit jsut migrated south for the winter

joe

02/26/2008 15:41

I'm reliving my early childhood

Clinton

02/26/2008 15:42

"spray painting your undies brown"

SoFa

02/26/2008 15:44

jsut illegally downloaded some turds

MacGyver

02/26/2008 15:44

My drawers just found out what it's like to be Bono

John

02/26/2008 15:44

I just painted my pants

MacGyver

02/26/2008 15:45

or, Bono's in my undies

John

02/26/2008 15:45

my 2 smiles just ate a chocolate bar

John

02/26/2008 15:46

uh oh, my ass is bulemic

MacGyver

02/26/2008 15:46

The sequel to 2G1C has just been filmed in my pants...

Cliff

02/26/2008 15:47

I just miscarried Satan's baby.

MacGyver

02/26/2008 15:49

Of course, that's where i always keep my extra Snickers bars

Matty

02/26/2008 15:50

Eddie Murphy's latest film has just wrapped!!

#1 Killer

02/26/2008 15:51

Alert: Bomb door malfunction.

MacGyver

02/26/2008 15:51

LOL

#1 Killer

02/26/2008 15:51

Error.

#1 Killer

02/26/2008 15:52

Tyler Perry's House of Poo

Cliff

02/26/2008 15:53

I just MacGyvered myself an anti-making-friends-device.

#1 Killer

02/26/2008 15:53

Someone just killed a Cosby kid. The proof is in the pants.

Matty

02/26/2008 15:58

I just finished bottling J-lo's perfume.

joe

02/26/2008 15:59

Even thinking about hello kitty sacres the shit out of me........dammit, see what i mean.

Cliff

02/26/2008 16:02

I just relived my seeing the Mars Volta live experience, pantswise. In that they were shitty. I just shit myself is what I'm trying to say.

Fuck it. I'm going to totally nsfw.

MacGyver

02/26/2008 16:04

"Tell me about it, this morning, I woke up and I shit a squirrel, but what I can't get is the damn thing is still alive. So now, I've got a shit covered squirrel running around my office and I don't know what to name it."

Oscar

02/26/2008 16:08

I just poured gravy on the mashed potatoes

I just Hersheyed myself

Mr. Hanky says Hello

I just pulled an Exxon Valdez...In my pants

Whale

02/26/2008 16:23

I ate your chocolate squirrel!, ...

MacGyver

02/26/2008 16:31

lol, finally

Melissa

02/26/2008 18:14

There! Look at you! You nearly crapped yourself! Except him, he actually did


Boom boom



I'll pass along the muffin and porn basket to whomever can figure out where those lines are from.

Terry Tibbs

02/26/2008 20:41

The quote is from "The Venture Bros" and I can't believe I'm saying this but i'm not looking for a muffin and porn basket (defo going to regret that one!) but can someone please tell me what NSFW means?! It's driving me nuts!

MacGyver

02/26/2008 22:55

NSFW = Not Safe For Work

Terry Tibbs

02/27/2008 08:02

Ooohhhhhhhhh

The Hitman

02/27/2008 08:20

Mud butt.

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