Comedy List: Euphemisms For Sh*tting Yourself

How many times have you loaded your drawers only to find that you didn't have the proper words to describe it to your formal company?  Zero times for me, but that's because I wrote this list.  Thought I'd share it with you.

• I just spread the nutella.
• Oops.  Pulled a grandpa.
• I just commissioned an impressionist painting in my pants.
• My bomb doors have malfunctioned.
• Pardon me.  That was a solid fart.