Celebrity Gossip Of The Future: Famous Last Words
December 06, 2006 - 11:15 am | PermalinkThe shots of Britney Spears' with no panties were so last month, dude. But what about the shots of her with no teeth? That's the gossip of tomorrow. Thankfully, the resident gossip hounds at Double Viking saved up for that time machine so that we can give you tomorrow's celebrity scandals-today. In this edition, we're gonna look sixty years or so into the future and record the last words of many of today's biggest celebrities.
Paris Hilton: That was hot…
Britney Spears: Sean Preston, put down that knife right now!
Danny Devito: Farewell, mole people! Your king bids you adieu!
Nicole Richie: No thanks! I’m good with just water for now.
Justin Timberlake: I’m even gayer than Lance.
Stephen Hawking: ap’osifpoijasdfjasdkjfk;oj;alskdfj
Jennifer Garner: I…I’m a man. And Ben…Ben had a pussy…
Mary Kate Olsen: There were no Olsen “twins.” It was a mirror the whole time…
Ryan Seacrest: What…are you waiting for me to say “Seacrest out” or something? Not happening. Wait…
Jennifer Lopez: Wait, how do you say ‘Goodbye’ in Spanish? That’d be so perfect right now.
Will Smith: Yo…fuck that proper talking bullshit, son.
Gwen Stefani: That shit was bananas…
Fergie: Someone, get the bed pan…I can’t hold it in…
Brandon Routh: Remember when I was in that one movie? That was cool…
Tom Cruise: Katie, put down that gun! (BANG!) Aaaaargggh!!! (gargling noises) P.S. I’m gay.
Lindsy Lohan: Wooo! Happy New Yearsss!! 2007 is gonna rock!
