05.07.08 From the Viking
> Bullet Points: The Ten Human Sized Villains Who Can Kick Your Superhero's Ass
Written by Lucas Haberstich
Superheroes are accustomed to being victorious. The colorful bastards always show up just in the nick of time to kick bad guy ass, thwarting the schemes of super-villains who seek nothing more than a front page headline and some ill-gotten gains to roll in back at their secret abandoned warehouse headquarters. It's a rough life being a supervillain.
And it can be even rougher if you're not a towering, indestructible powerhouse of a supervillain and a superpowered jerk shows up at your crime. Superbully just wants to impress his non-prostitute girlfriend, Charles Atlas kicking sand in the face of an average (evil) joe. But there's no reason why the underdog can't man up and use the natural or unnatural skills they possess to knock the A-hole down a few pegs.
The hero expects to win, but here, in no particular order, is a list of ten normal-sized supervillains who say, "Enough is e-goddamned-nough, I'm done being a punching bag. Let's see how you like it."
Graviton
Primary Enemy: The Avengers
Graviton can mentally control gravity after a science-experiment-gone-wrong. He can mentally control gravity. Why would this physics nerd even bother engaging in fisticuffs with a hero? All 'Gravy Train' needs to do is think and gravity releases its grip to leave hero-man asphyxiating outside Earth's atmosphere or squeezed to bloody paste in a gravity sandwich. Heavy stuff.
Tether Tyrant

Primary Enemy: Invincible
Bullseye
Primary Enemy: Daredevil
Bullseye is a psychotic killer who cannot miss his target. He knows every pressure point and vulnerable spot on the body and can throw anything from knives to paper airplanes at your hero with deadly accuracy. He literally has a target carved in his forehead, but chances are good that whatever's in Bullseye's reach will spill his challenger's blood before they can touch him. Bullseye!
Nekra
Primary Enemy: Spider-Woman
I love Nekra and she hates. In fact, by harnessing her violent emotions (especially hate), this pigmentally-challenged goth gal's skin becomes blade-shatteringly hard and, at the peak of her rage, she can lift ten tons. And as one can safely assume that garishly-dressed, moral fiber-filled protagonists incite a deeply-felt hatred in her heart, her emotions are sure to get the better of her... opponent.
Taskmaster
Primary Enemy: The Avengers
Truly, truly badass. Taskmaster runs the schools that train all those faceless henchmen that work for all the other supervillains and evil organizations. He makes a good instructor as his 'photographic reflexes' allow him to copy the physical movements of others instantly. Imagine the egg on your hero's face when he throws a punch at Taskmaster who dodges with one hero's agility before laying el hero flat with a copy of his own punch. Beaten with your own style -- choke on it.
Toad
Primary Enemy: The X-Men
What hero wouldn't need to suppress a chuckle when faced with this guy? Sad, ugly dork with the worst taste in colors this side of Captain Ultra. But Toad can jump, which means superpowered legs, folks. All Toad needs to do is get ahold of the hero with his sticky hands (it's a power!) and start aiming those feet at spandex-clad superjunk. Just pray there are no on-lookers or they'll be clawing their eyes out at the sight.
Anaconda
Primary Enemy: Captain America
Only a stupid hero would mess with someone crazy enough to get herself genetically altered with the ability to elongate and constrict her arms like a snake in addition to surgically-installed gills. If Anaconda (real name is not the expected Anna, it's Blanche) gets her arms around a hero, her arms can crush them utterly. Failing that, she can plunge her captured prey into a body of water, staying under while the hero drowns while doing the amphibian tango.
Bookworm
Primary Enemy: Sleepwalker
It's a slow night on patrol and there's been a break-in at the library. The hero bursts in and finds this greasy kid poring over thick tomes (eww). "Easy bust," thinks the cocky superjock, but thinking is really more Bookworm's thing. He opens a mythology compendium and draws upon the power of words to generate a pantheon of the most powerful ancient gods who obey his every whim and deliver a furious god-stomping on the head of an illiterate hero. Bookworm then opens up the Bond novel Goldfinger and has Pussy Galore on his wide, footprinted back.
Bomb Queen
Primary Enemy: Wedgies
Bomb Queen already has a step up on the supers. She's the benevolent dictator of a city that has banned superheroes entirely. A skilled fighter and explosives expert with DNA altered to give her the ability to throw 'energy bombs' at will, any hero entering her timezone has an equally good chance of being exploded or groped by this nasty city official. Heroes would be wise to just step off their pedestal, skip the fight, and watch the pornographic videos that star Bomb Queen. Unless they like an exploded head!
Captain Cold
Primary Enemy: The Flash
Ah, the tech-dependent supervillain. He stumbles onto a powerful bit of science, but the only application he finds for it is weaponry. Supervillainy imitates life. Captain Cold is 'The Man Who Mastered Absolute Zero' and his cold gun freezes whatever it hits to absolute zero. That's cold. If he set it to small bursts, he could freeze and shatter a hero one vital bit at a time until they were nothing but a frost-burned torso he could write his name on while saying something like, "Superhero? More like Superzero! (laughter optional)".
Supervillains kick ass.
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Task master is awesome, beats the whole avengers, no physical powers to speak of. Trivia question for the day. How did Deadpool beat Taskmaste, at their first meeting in Taskmasters school? (This isn't in Wiki, just to show the level I'm geeking at right now)
@Whale: Apocalypse vs. Darkseid would be pretty good too
http://www.marvel.com/universe/Apocalypse
height 7' weight 300lbs....how big is shaq???
thanks ;)
BTW three of these villians suck... Deadpool has easily kicked Anaconda's and Taskmaster's asses, and is friends with Bullseye.
Bullseye is more a merc than villain.
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