Bullet Points: The 7 Most Historic Mighty Morphin Power Rangers MonstersBy John Lichman on October 16, 2007 - 8:30 am |
Remember how awesome the early 1990s were? Back when we didn’t have things like work or deadlines or having to dress like an “adult?” How awesome was it when there were still Saturday cartoons—AND when Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers came on? This Far East import introduced our young, impressionable minds to Sentai, spandex and how awesome rubber monsters are. Not to mention that you can make a monster from ANYTHING.
A rotund pig whose only article of clothing is his helmet, he was created by Finster (remember, the alien who made all of the monsters from clay?) to wipe out all of the food on Earth in 48 hours. His stomach was apparently a vortex where objects were merely stored and could never be filled. He ate the Rangers’ weapons, ruined a food banquet and looked as if he’d finally defeat the Rangers—this being the 6th Episode. Of course, the Rangers fed him his one weakness (spicy food), regained their weapons and saved the day.
A mutant turtle with a traffic light attached to his back, Shellshock also used a baseball bat and had a cannon built into his shell. Looking mysteriously like Tokka from TMNT 2: Secret of the Ooze, Shellshock seemed like a complete mash-up of random sports equipment and even more random spells fired by his traffic-light. Even though he seems like a throw-away villain, he was one of the stronger ones ever fought by the Rangers.
He used magical “hate dust” to make people hate each other. He infected everyone with his hate dust, save for Ayesha (the second Yellow Ranger) who used some sound advice her granny gave her: everyone loves everyone. Aww. And then, to show the love, the Rangers got into their Megazord and promptly cut him in two—a.k.a. showing him some lovin’. He also looks like a Smurf with fangs and bed-head.
You may remember Eye Guy for the sole fact that he was entirely made of eyeballs. Yes, he was a walking mass of eyes that could split apart, fire lasers, see everywhere and even fought using a staff—of eyes! Sure, little things like how he existed, how he could stand walking or how he could function are good questions. But who cares! He. Was. Made. Of. Eyes. He’d eventually be defeated when Billy figured out that his Main Eye—i.e. the one he saw out of—was his weak point, shot it and saved the day. But after this point, you know they’ll never one-up how awesome a monster made entirely out of eyes can be, let alone the puns.
Aside from the name, Mr. Ticklesneezer looked like a retarded gnome that was going to offer you candy and unintentionally squeeze you to death by hugging. A doll turned into a monster by Rita, Mr. Ticklesneezer was one of a few “unintentional” monsters who just wanted to be left alone and not hurt anyone. This took a while for the Rangers to understand since their previous battles mainly consisted of “Look, a monster. Let’s kill it. With fire. And robots.”
He collected things in his glass bottles, but soon realized the error of his ways. Also, he sort of looks like the Warden from Ricky Oh: The Story of Ricky.
Yeah, he was a) a monster, b) historic and c) on the show. Anyway, created by Finster to mingle during a costume party, Frankenstein’s Monster would swat the Rangers’ zords around like step-children. The Monster’s special move involved removing his neck bolts, attaching them via a chain and then unleashing a Victorian Lit ass-kicking on the modern robots. He was eventually taken down by the Dragonzord’s Battle Mode (i.e. Dragonzord + Mastodon + Triceratops + Saber-Tooth Tiger) via a drill through the chest. Sadly, this resulted in many kids getting an F on their book reports when they stopped reading the book and assumed that was how it really ended.
A “mythical cyborg goat” brought to life by Lord Zedd from a character in a book on myth and legends. The joy of childhood was thinking that “mythical” and “cyborg goat” was an applicable term and perfectly acceptable. Either way, this shows how messed up the Angel Grove school system was when it concerned classes. Who teaches kids about cyborg goats? And no one notices that said cyborg goat the becomes real and walks around the city, only to be defeated by giant robots? Man, and I thought the Sunnydale kids were dense.