Bullet Points: The 5 Fanboy New Year's Resolutions

•Limit My Movie Casting Complaints To Only A Few Films

My earliest memories of being a fanboy were when the live action "Master of the Universe" film was announced. Even though I was five, I was still super excited--my favorite cartoon/toy line was being made into a big movie. And then I remember leaving the film disappointed. Though I had no idea who Dolph Lundgren was, I knew he was NO He-Man. What I did when I was five is now what a lot of us fanboys do often, on blogs, on message boards and in the talkback section of Aint It Cool. We're never gonna stop debating the casting of certain films, be it The Watchmen or I Am Legend. And it makes sense to not stop--studios are increasingly monitoring fanboy chatter in regards to casting and responding thusly. But let's make ourselves a promise... let's save the debate for the flicks we truly care about and not get into extended online arguments over stuff like who's gonna be doing the voice of Poppa Smurf in the upcoming Smurf film. Yes, the original cartoon was cool when we were little kids; doesn't mean we should care. It's a frickin KIDS film, after all.


•Stop Shitting On Paul W.S. Anderson And Len Wiseman

Two of the most hated directors around are Paul W.S. Anderson and Len Wiseman. The former is responsible for the Resident Evil film franchise and the latter helmed Underwold and the latest Die Hard installment. Both guys have made some really shitty work. But the best way to punish these guys clearly isn't complaining about them nonstop online, because they keep getting new directing gigs. I for one am going to channel the energy I wasted on anger and annoyance I once had for these two (and all the other directors who annoy the hell out of me) towards a better outlet. Expect my white boy rap album to drop in '09, yall (I keed, I keed).

•Stop Believing The Hype

From the buzz online, from all the stills and videos released, from EVERYTHING I saw about Transformers before the film came out, I made up my mind... this is gonna be the coolest movie of all time. Then I see the damn movie and I was beyond disappointed. Not to say there wasn't cool stuff going on in the flick--the sound and visuals were pretty sick. But of COURSE I was going to be let down... I believed the hype. This year I'll keep my eye on all the stuff that comes out about movies I want to see (The Dark Knight, I'm looking at youuuu), but even if a flick seems like a sure thing going in, I'm going to listen to Public Enemy and not believe the hype.


•Lose Weight And Move Out of My Mother's Basement

Whenever a diss is hurled at a fanboy (be it from a co-member of the fanboy base or some angry outsider) it usually is a variation on "why don't you lose some weight and move out of your mother's basement!" While it's certain this insult is the epitome of cliche, there's only one way people will stop saying this damned insult--if the majority of fanboys lost weight and moved out of their mom's basement. If we as the fanboy collective showed up to major fandom/Hollywood events (like Comicon) as fit, independent adults who just happen to belong to geekdom, people are gonna be forced to come up with a new cliched insult to hurl our way (most likely "why don't you get a girlfriend").

•Use My "Fanboyism" For Good

The internet continues to bring the difference between consumers and executives together. This is a good thing and I certainly wouldn't say my devotion to films online is a waste of energy. But in this new year I'd like to use my "fanboyism" for things other than video games, comic books and movies. To see what I'm talking about, you merely have to look at the Ron Paul campaign. The way people online devote their time and energy to Mr. Paul is admirable. Us fanboys should pick our own issue we care about and expend the kind of energy we do for a movie towards said issue. Maybe rather than simply helping decide who's going to play Professor X we can also help change the world for the better.