Bullet Points: The 12 Manliest Oscar Winning Performances

Charlton Heston, "Ben Hur" 1959

Let's not split hairs.  This performance is on the list because the chariot race sequence remains one of the most badass scenes in the history of visual entertainment.  Not only does it look amazing, even after all these years, but it was incredibly dangerous to shoot.  There are mixed claims as to whether any people or horses were hurt or killed during its filming, but watch it and tell me how nobody got hurt, given the state of visual effects in 1959.  Heston spent a month learning to drive a chariot.  A fucking chariot.  Awesome. 

Gregory Peck, "To Kill A Mockingbird" 1963

Mr. Peck birthed generations of bad-ass, terse talking lawyers with his role as Atticus Finch in the 1962 big screen adaptation of Harper Lee's book. Though the film take place during the Depression, its release in the dead heat of the Civil Rights movement coupled with Peck's manly composure as a moral lawyer defending an innocent black man accused of raping a white woman. Peck's Oscar winning performance shows something rare--manliness being used for good. Here's a famous scene from the film where Peck o3nz in the courtroom.

George C. Scott, "Patton" 1970

One of the manliest actors of all time playing one of the manliest men of all time; the only thing that could've kept George C. Scott off this list would have been himself, as he declined the acceptance of this Oscar.  It was the second time in his career he snubbed the Academy, as he turned down a nomination for "The Hustler" a few years earlier.  His reason for declining the Oscar? "The whole thing is a goddamn meat parade. I don't want any part of it." That's how a man take a stand.  Now watch him deliver possibly the most famous speech in film history.

Gene Hackman, "The French Connection" 1971

Hackman was probably director William Friedkin's last choice for the role of Jimmy Doyle; Friedkin tried to fill the role with everyone from Paul Newman to some completely random and unknown newspaper reporter.  Obviously, then, it adds an extra dimension of manliness the performance that not only was the defacto leader of the film completely opposed to his casting, but that he nailed the role to such an extent that any other potential casting decision was made to look as if it would've had to have been made by Retard Smurf.  Also, the movie includes a ridiculously great and dangerous car chase sequence that was filmed without closing the streets to everyday traffic.  Enjoy that.

Marlon Brando, "The Godfather" 1972 

While we're certainly sick of all the fucking Vito Corleone impressions, we'll never get sick of watching Brando's performance in "The Godfather." The legendary performance that almost never happened (had the idiotic studio heads gotten their way, Danny Thomas would've been Vito... yeeeesh) rebounded Brando's career (momentarily) and brought realism to on screen depictions of gangsters from that point onward. It was his mixture of quiet composure and a scary, deadly nature lurking underneath it all that "electrified" generations of "Godfather" fans. And in a final move of bad-assery, Marlon Brando pulled a George C. Scott and refused to accept the award. Turning down awards... now THAT'S manly. Here's the famous opening scene of the film.

Robert Deniro, "Raging Bull" 1980 

Hey, remember when Deniro wasn't a caricature? Then maybe you recall his unreal, manly as all fuck performance in "Raging Bull," where he played washed up boxer Jake LaMotta. The film was a darker and more realistic portray of boxing than the uplifting "Rocky" (think of "Raging Bull" as the Rolling Stones to "Rocky's" Beatles) and much ink has been spilled writing about De Niro's intense "method acting" techniques utilized for his portrayal of LaMotta (he gained weight, actually trained as a boxer and, I believe, made love to LaMotta's actual wife). But with or without a backstory, De Niro's acting in "Raging Bull" is brutal, busted and bad ass. Here's the first scene of the film, where we see De Niro fat as all fuck and awkwardly rehearsing a "comedy" routine.

Paul Newman, "The Color of Money" 1986

Newman reprised the character of Fast Eddie Felson from "The Hustler" -- a movie made twenty-five years earlier -- in this stylish Scorsese pool hustler flick.  If it isn't enough that he's an aging grifter teaching his craft to a notably squeakier and not-yet-Scientologized Tom Cruise, and if it isn't enough that he's grizzled as hell, it should be enough that he ends up utterly owning the younger Cruise with pure guile and hustling craft.  Watch him work his magic in this sweet team-up swindle with Vincent (Cruise).

Michael Douglas, "Wall Street" 1987 

Michael Douglas is the most misquoted of all our manly Oscar winners. The actual line is "Greed, for a lack of a better word, is good" but that doesn't go as well on a T-shirt, so oh wells. Aaanyways, Douglas' portrayal of stock broker Gordon Gekko gave an entire generation of young money hungry douches a hero, which definitely knocks a few points off his manly total. But Douglas deserves his place on the list for giving a heartbeat to pure greed. Because as much as I'd like to think otherwise, I have to admit there's not much out there as manly as being a greedy ass mofo. Here's the famous "Greed" speech.

Al Pacino, "Scent of a Woman" 1992

Huah!  As the endless font of advice and wisdom for , Pacino's Frank Slade has likely been the template for every gruff movie or TV character over the past fifteen years.  This is a man who lost his sight in a grenade juggling accident.  When he's not telling Charlie about how to score or conversing with his good friend John Daniels, Slade is turning Thanksgiving dinner into hell or dressing down the faculty of a prep school.  Don't agree with his inclusion on this list?  Take it from the Lieutenant Colonel himself: "You're in no position disagree with me, boy. I got a loaded .45 here. You got pimples."  HUAH!

Russell Crowe, "Gladiator" 2000

Although "Gladiator" doesn't stack up particularly well against other Best Picture winners (unless those Best Picture winners are "Crash" and "Titanic"), the quantity and quality of the battle sequences of this movie ensure that not only are we entertained, but we've all grown extra testicles.  From the opening battle against the barbarians to Maximus' escape from his executioners through his gladiatorial career to his mano-a-mano badassery against Commodus, Crowe exudes the calm certainty of his battlefield prowess -- and he never loses.  Is it unbelievably great acting?  It doesn't really need to be.  But it is definitely entertaining, and definitely one of the manliest Oscar winning performances.