Attack Mode: Winning Your Water Fight

Vision

There is only one rule for victory that applies to all types of water fights:  never, ever be afraid to take water in the eyes. Once you lose your vision in a water fight by having to look away or close your eyes, the fight is over. You've lost.  You may be surprised to read this, but I am actually a licensed optometrist, and if there is one thing my training has taught me, it's that the eyes can take a lot of damage. Go ahead, poke yourself in the eye. See, it doesn't hurt that much.  

As long as you keep your vision straight and are willing to take splashes or blasts in your eye, you will eventually come out victorious. Stay focused and the only way you'll lose will be by running out of water.

Hos(e) Be Trippin' 

There is not a water gun in the world that can top a standard garden hose. That classic green snake make seem lame, but it has unstoppable benefits. It has range, power and ammunition. It is limited by its mobility since it is attached to a faucet, but with the power you wield through it, there's no need to run and gun.  You can just gun.

Never, Ever Use Water Balloons

Water balloons may seem appealing because of the amount of water dispensed -- and the fact that throwing them is fun -- but water balloons are highly inefficient. They involve too much prep time, they have a high failure rate and are they're inconvenient and unwieldy to carry around. If you plan on only toting around a bucket of balloons, you mine as well quit now while you're dry and not embarrassed.

Pool Fights

Water fights in the pool are their own breed of water fight. Consider the pool like a no-holds-barred cage match. The pool is a place where you can mesh a water fight with a real fight. Start throwing some punches, attempt to tackle and do everything you can to knock the opponent to the ground because that is Game Over.  

Gender Roles

The gender of the water fight opponent can have a major impact on the strategy to obtain victory.  

You will find that men will be extremely aggressive and not give up. It is important to hold your ground and essentially turn the fight into a last-man-standing war of attrition.  Be persistent and never, ever give up.  

Fighting women is a completely different ball game. Girls have the tendencies to often playfully start the fights, which also gives the men the perfect time to shine and show off your impressive skills. Water also has the uncanny ability to practically make a girl's white shirt disappear of their body. If they are already in a bathing suit, a few accurately placed shots can make even the tightest bathing suit shift and provide plenty Britney Spears-style peep shots. There is also no easier way to get a girl wet than literally with water!  

Follow those guidelines and you will be on your way to victory in any water fight and, if the circumstances are right, potentially even more.