Attack Mode: The Punch

 

 

 

ANATOMY OF A PUNCH

A punch, by basic definition, is a thrusting blow with the fist.  That means, for the tards out there, any blow to an opponent using a clenched hand is a punch.

Now, if you've ever play fought or, if you're lucky, got into a fight with a gay guy, you'll know that a fist is not the only requirement for a punch. Without any strength or force behind that fist, it's just a bunch of well groomed fingernails having a party together.

The best way to put some power behind that fist is through kinetic motion. The reason why we wind up our arms before we plant a fat one in some drunk ass hole's face is because we're transferring energy from elsewhere in our body to our arms and, consequently, our fists.

Now, I'm no doctor so I can't totally explain this. But this Discovery Channel clip on One Punch KO's can:

As you can see, the body grabs energy from motion and, as best it can, transfers it to your arm which transfers it to your fist which then transfers that energy to the dude you're punching's face. Again, ouch. And you ever notice how bigger guys can punch harder (duhhhh)? Well that's because muscles store energy in various places, like creatine phosphate. The bigger the muscle mass, the more abundant these energy stores. The more abundant the energy, the harder the motherfucking punch. Basically.

TYPES OF PUNCHES

There are three main schools of fighting, each with their own unique brands of punches: boxing, martial arts and street fighting.  

Boxing punches include the jab (fast and straight out from your leading hand), the cross (straight punch from your rear hand), the hook (curved punch thrown from the lead) and the uppercut (vertical punch... just as it sounds).

While boxing punches certainly have killed people (thanks Wikipedia), they're designed less for killing someone than for devastating them in the ring.

Martial Arts punches are extremely diverse, as they span styles from countries as varied as Japan and... China. Nah, it's a bit more diverse than that. I guess Brazil has their own style and shit. Whoopee!

Regardless, some of the popular and well known punches coming out of Martial Arts include tsuki, oi-zuki and choku-zuki (from Karate) and the sun fist and one inch punch from Wing Chun. Okay, I'm sure there are more, but that's what I could find on da net. Sue me.

While anyone who's taken a couple Martial Arts classes can attest to the teacher's initial assertions that martial arts are "not for fighting, merely avoiding fights," anyone who's trained for a while can tell you that you learn some deadly punches. In addition to the typical array of painful attacks you learn in class, just about every martial art has a rumored "Touch of Death" that, as legend goes, only insanely high end masters know. The most famous of these rumored techniques is Dim Mak, a Chinese system of "death touches" that's based on attacking your opponent's pressure points.

Despite lack of evidence, there is apparently a science behind the Dim Mak touch of death (something called commotio cordis, which is like fucking up your heart's rhythm or something) and some annoying conspiracy theorists think Bruce Lee died this way, which would've been cool, but is unlikely (merely for the fact that he was insane at martial arts and no one could get close enough to lay down some Dim Mak).

Street fighting doesn't have any specific, defined punching styles (if it did, it'd be considered a form of boxing or martial arts) but there are certainly stereotypes we can somewhat define right now.

One very prominent street fighting punching style is the "Drunk Punch." Though similar in name to the Kung Fu Drunken Style, the techniques are vastly different as the "Drunk Punch" is literally born out of an actual state of drunkenness. The "Drunk Punch" is a straight armed, full forced punch that, thanks to an impaired depth perception, extends well beyond the point of balance and, if the the punch doesn't land, the fighter WILL end up on the ground.

Another popular street fighting punch is the Schoolyard Scrap. Anyone under the age of 14 who has gotten into a fight has employed this punch in their repertoire. The Schoolyard Scrap is any untrained weakling's attempt at doing the most damage. Normally the punching style resembles a circular, wheelbarrow-like system of rabbit punches, much like the fighting you'd expect in a "Scooby Doo" episode. The only reason why the Schoolyard Scrap works is because kids have immense energy and are able to dole out hundreds of these within one fight. An adult attempting this style would be taken out fast.

MAXIMIZE THE DAMAGE

According to Black Belt Magazine (the greatest magazine of all time), the Shaolin Monks long ago crafted the perfect technique for making your punch meet its potential. You can read the linked article to get the full, in depth look at how the Shaolin Monks do they sheez but, basically "The best way to pack the most power into your punch is to use a corkscrew-like turn that progresses in a specified order: First the foot moves, then the knee, the hip and the waist, the shoulder, the elbow and finally the fist." The more energy you can thrust into your punch from your legs to your first, the more expensive your opponent's facial reconstruction bill will be.

PARTING WORDS

Don't get punched in the face if you're fighting a Shaolin monk. They know what they're doing.