Attack Mode: The Punch

Have you ever been punched in the head? I have. It certainly doesn't feel like a 3 lb sack of flesh and bone falling into your face. It feels the same as a solid stone quickly slamming against your skull. It frickin' sucks. That's because, if properly trained and utilized, a well placed punch from a human hand can be one of the deadliest weapons known to man. Ouch.

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Attack Mode: The Ghetto

I think Elvis put it best in his hit song "In The Ghetto": "One night in desperation / A young man breaks away / He buys a gun, steals a car... In The Ghetto." The inner city is rough. Asian, black, hispanic and, yes, white gangsters want to make your life a living hell. That's why when traveling through the ghetto, you gotta switch into ATTACK MODE!

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Attack Mode: Killer Bees

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Attack Mode: Surviving OJ

OJ Simpson has reinvented himself a number of times.  Star athlete, Nordberg in the Naked Gun series, murder suspect.  I suppose you could say he’s the David Bowie of miscellaneous celebrity.  Problem is lately he’s really caught up in this whole “criminal” phase. 

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Attack Mode: Winning Your Water Fight

Summer is dwindling to an end. No more summer means no more summer parties which means, inevitably, no more fun water fights. Sure, the water fight may seem like a pretty weak fight, but they can get intense and there are some surefire ways to obtain victory... but you'll have to guide your mind into Attack Mode!

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Attack Mode: Surviving the Plague

You might think the bubonic plague has been absent from the globe since the time of knights.  You'd be wrong.  You might think it impossible for you to contract such an ancient, legendary illness.  Wrong again.  On the other hand, you might think that if you get it, you're as good as dead.  But you can be wrong there, too, if you cast aside your womanly ways and slide into ATTACK MODE!

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Attack Mode: How to Not Blow Up

Hardly a day passes without the evening news warning the public about some new danger to their lives.  The pump at the gas station is not safe.  Your electric toothbrush is a loaded gun.  Your breakfast nook alone probably has four, what they call, “safety obstacles.”  It takes a lot of planning these days just to get through the week without getting blown up.  So get attentive, get prepared and get into ATTACK MODE.

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Attack Mode: Applying for the Position of Jessica Alba's Boyfriend

Bachelors (and anyone else for that matter) take note: Jessica Alba, that bastion of sexual purity and overall desirable hotness, is single. Scrape that jaw off the floor, cowboy. The news is true. Does this mean that you have a chance at getting into her jeans?  Perhaps, if you can give yourself over to your innate ATTACK MODE.

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Attack Mode: Surviving a Hostage Situation

We hope it never happens to you, but if it does, be prepared: ATTACK MODE -- SURVIVING A HOSTAGE SITUATION! Yikes...

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Attack mode: When Animals Attack

Lions, tigers and bears. Oh my. Coming across a real live wild animal can be downright dangerous. And if you’re not careful about it, you just may become its dinner. But as humans, WE are the top of the food chain, thanks to our gi-normous brains, opposable thumbs and the ability to make and use firearms. So when animals do attack, get yourself into attack mode or end up sushi.

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Attack Mode: What To Do When Your Coworker Goes Postal

What happens when the fatty in your office who sits in the corner quietly picking his nose -- never doing work -- gets fired? Well sometimes, he goes home, grabs a gun and gets scary. That's when it's time to go into ATTACK MODE.

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Attack Mode: How to Survive a Drunken BBQ Brawl

If there's anything more fun about barbecues than the actual food, it's the inevitable inebriated fisticuffs that follow: as always, one must be prepared for such an event. That's where we come in.

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Attack Mode: Protect Your Car from GTA

If you're a man (and according to our traffic stats, you are), chances are you've invested a lot of time and money in your car. As it's generally the most expensive thing most men own other than a house and a wife (man, that Korean wife sure was expensive), it's also a very frequent target for criminals, thieves and those damned video game players. That's why you need to be prepared at any time to ward off a carjacker.

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Attack Mode: Get Your Home Battle Ready Without Getting a Gun

Men, I know your pain. You devotedly protect your homes and loved ones from Federales, Branch Davidians and suitcase nukes, but the lady in your life won’t let you buy a gun.  You have only two options.  You can sit on your fat can just waiting for the day some punk with a snub and a dream strolls into your life and takes you for everything you're worth.  Or, you can take a deep breath while you slip into ATTACK MODE!

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Attack Mode: How to Survive A Back-Alley Knife Fight

You are coming home from the bar at two o’clock in the morning.  You’re dumb enough to take that shortcut your girlfriend’s father’s friend told you about, and boom: you are stuck in a back-alley.  This wouldn't normally be a problem, but a shadowy figure is approaching you, and the demonic glint in his eye matches the streetlight reflection off his blade.  Yes, he has a knife.  Now: what do you do?  How will you survive?  First, you thank your lucky stars that you read this article.  And then you enter Attack Mode.

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